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Pastel Grace Us, Amen

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  #1  
Old 11-30-2012, 04:19 PM
maidahl
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Default Pastel Grace Us, Amen


Weíre the kings hiding inside the curtain call of pastel graces,
covered by a big wooden chapel;
Gin, rice-cakes, little touched up red wine: a giant blood-red Cross sign,
a conflict rock, a promise to found brotherhoods upon that Covenant. It's in a Chinese New Age Way.

Stars so quiet wed overhead, moving mountains that Thy crimson words italicize. We have faith in moving mountains and those stones cry out like they are ignitIonBones.
P30PL3 canít seem to hold focus when the light is so obviously righteous.

'''(0B\/1 0U$L13)'''

The 80's will come to us or may us go to Thee.

As the flood moves in and Illuminates our morbid glories, and we steal a moment to steal another moment
We wonder if we wasted our sweetness on trying to keep the innocence going.

But if youíve never tried to feel what it feels to fall from grace, how do you know when luck comes blowing sweetness in its wild 'N untamed ways.

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  #2  
Old 12-01-2012, 09:17 AM
KBR (Offline)
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Knit muscle and tendon to your beautiful bones. Skin them smooth and look away but don't look away with coy dark eyes and tangled raven hair.
Originally Posted by maidahl View Post
pastel graces
touched up red wine
a conflict rock
Stars so quiet wed overhead
moving mountains
We have faith
those stones cry out
ignitIonBones
canít seem to hold focus
when the light is so obviously
the flood moves in
our morbid glories
we steal a moment to steal another
We wonder if we wasted our sweetness
trying to keep the innocence going
if youíve never tried to feel what it feels to fall from grace
how do you know
blowing sweetness in its wild 'N untamed ways
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  #3  
Old 12-01-2012, 09:56 AM
maidahl
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wat is that?

is that [a part of the p oem?
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  #4  
Old 12-01-2012, 10:54 AM
KBR (Offline)
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I've been up for 30 hours working. I'm not really working right. I saw these pieces as bones or foundation. I didn't try to redo it or recast it. To me, these images get smeared into the edges instead of highlighted in the poem. I'm sure that's a better way to say it.

Originally Posted by maidahl View Post
wat is that?

is that [a part of the p oem?
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  #5  
Old 12-01-2012, 10:55 AM
maidahl
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Can you explain what that means?

It sounds to smart for me. Literally.


Please translate.


It's supposed to be specifically vague, so I guess blurred images isn't exactly what I was goin f4
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  #6  
Old 12-01-2012, 12:20 PM
KBR (Offline)
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I'm not that good at explaining. I just put your kick ass images front and center. There isn't even that much connective tissue between the images. The connections come from their proximity to each other and meaning is closely tied to word sequencing. Don't speak words. Think about them as sounds. The nearness of the words is a musical interval, and the sequence is part of melody and a vertical harmony that grows as the words progress through the poem. Like a sound, a strong word or phrase will still be resonating when the reader is even a line or two away. Understand that resonance and deepen the tones with words that add nuance to the sound that still hangs in the air while you begin laying the groundwork for the sounds that are yet to come. It's all so automatic for me. I don't even know if this makes sense. PM me if you want more barely intelligible ramblings.
Originally Posted by maidahl View Post

pastel graces, touched up red wine
a promise to found brotherhoods upon a Covenant, a blood-red Cross

a promise, not Gin, rice-cakes, a new Chinese New Age
moving in like a flood moves to illuminate our morbid glories
we steal a moment to steal another because
people can't seem to hold focus

all the while, stones cry out like ignition bones
a conflict rock
faith in moving mountains

And Stars so quiet wed overhead
the light is so obviously righteous

We wonder if we wasted our sweetness on trying to keep the innocence going.

But if youíve never tried to feel what it feels to fall from grace, how do you know when luck comes blowing sweetness in its wild 'N untamed ways
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  #7  
Old 12-01-2012, 02:14 PM
maidahl
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I think that makes perfect se4nse, bro. It just is worded in a way that I don't usually read/think about consonance, rhythm, poets.

ANyways, thanks for the insight. Makes me rethink how clear I should makes some things.
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