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Mary Ingalls

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Old 09-10-2018, 09:10 PM
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Default Mary Ingalls


I am an old school hero,
So I decided to pick a pet dog,
And a pet fish named flipper,
And Fonzi as my skipper,

But all were busy, and Winkler called me a sissy.
In a moment of hissy I threw a rock at his head,
but instead it hit Lassy, and the sassy little bitch
Lay down dead.

So instead I picked what I could,
And if I'd understood before I'd chosen,
The difficulties ahead,
I'd have chosen wisely instead.

Yet I chose Little House on the prairie,
The lairy shit seemed all there,
She was no ones fool, she ate balls for breakfast,
So I chose Mary Ingalls

We walked outside, and she denied
knowing what a foot was,
I pointed at the end of her leg,
and instead she said,
"If we gonna partner, you the seeing eye,
And I am the shy, blind antithesis of laughter"

And so our adventures began...

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Old 09-11-2018, 03:28 AM
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Little House on the Prairie?
That's pretty weird.
I wanted Dan Haggerty
and his profusion of beard.

Grizzly Adams was my dream
Would of picked him wild flowers,
rinsed his smalls in the stream,
held that BIG hand for hours...

Washed his hair with a milk jug
and brushed his bear 'Ben'
and he'd have me on the table
(though I didn't know that then)

And we'd live on a mountain
and I'd whip him up grits
and now you're skim-reading
for the mention of tits.

No, it was all very sweet
A log cabin tucked away
and Grace is still hoping
she'll find her 'Dan' one day.
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