I am an old school hero,
So I decided to pick a pet dog,
And a pet fish named flipper,
And Fonzi as my skipper,
But all were busy, and Winkler called me a sissy.
In a moment of hissy I threw a rock at his head,
but instead it hit Lassy, and the sassy little bitch
Lay down dead.
So instead I picked what I could,
And if I'd understood before I'd chosen,
The difficulties ahead,
I'd have chosen wisely instead.
Yet I chose Little House on the prairie,
The lairy shit seemed all there,
She was no ones fool, she ate balls for breakfast,
So I chose Mary Ingalls
We walked outside, and she denied
knowing what a foot was,
I pointed at the end of her leg,
and instead she said,
"If we gonna partner, you the seeing eye,
And I am the shy, blind antithesis of laughter"
And so our adventures began...