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101 Things to do while waiting for the Missus

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Old 03-31-2007, 04:54 PM
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Default 101 Things to do while waiting for the Missus

Here's some starter suggestions:

1. Browse the real-estate windows....its a great way to built up market intelligence for your next property investment.
2. Pace up and down the street, but in line of sight from the wait site....just in case she comes out and can't find you.
3. Find a nice quiet seat, again in line of sight, and get the newspaper out that you brought along, just in case.
4. When traveling this is a great oppotunity to read the travel guide literature you picked up so you can quickly suggest where to go next once she emerges.
5. For the experienced...agree on a time to meet and then head off to the pub or coffee shop for a drink.
6. This also could be a good time to check the oil and water in the car or clean up those loose branches in the driveway.
7. Book shops are great. Again if you can find one in line of sight you can always while away hours if necessary...though for extended times be prepared to buy something, otherwise they may think you are just casing the joint.
8. Like bookshops, hardware stores can be equally attractive, though in my experience they are rarely located near female shops of interest.
9. In a new country just watching the world go by can be interesting. Take note of the speed with which the locals walk, are there more bikes than at home, do they walk their dogs, what sort of dogs, how are they dressed (people, not dogs), what sorts of cars do they drive, do they chat to each other......

So I need help..., so just post your best ideas and I'll add them to my wiki

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Old 03-31-2007, 06:58 PM
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Hey there, L-3,
First, there's a typo:
oppotunity = opportunity

Second, why is it waiting for the missus? It seems a little condescending to me or old fashioned. I go to hardware stores or electronics shops. We both sew, use tools, tinker with computers, deal with the car, or whatever. We have some separate areas of interest and expertise, but they don't require much waiting around for each other.

I wonder if it would work better if you changed your basic title to waiting for family and friends when on tour or something so that it is not so alienating?

If I did not tell you all the changes you might consider, I would be doing you a disservice, treating you with less than the full respect you deserve. This much I have learned from my years teaching and mentoring writers.

Riverstones let the water flow around them.

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Old 03-31-2007, 07:31 PM
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When I was married, here's a few things I did while waiting for my missus:

Disappear to the nearest bar, leaving behind some personal affects so I could claim I was kidnapped.

Hit on the prettiest unaccompanied chick within eyesight. Go home with her if she's willing. Use the kidnap claim when you see your wife later on.

Call 911 and report a fire in the office where my wife is to flush her out. If she's shopping in a store, call the credit card company, report the card she uses stolen and have it cancelled immediately. (This saved me a LOT of money.)

Call my mother-in-law and tell her, sobbing, that I just caught her daughter in bed with another man at a cheap motel. This worked to get the old hag off my back for a couple months.
"The earth was made round so we can't see too far down the road and know what is coming." -- Isak Dinesen, Out of Africa
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