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the attack

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Old 02-04-2018, 10:51 AM
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breathing is difficult and thinking is impossible and yet overthinking is all you can do
your mind is spinning out of control when you lay on your back
(the only way you can breathe)

and you know that if you don't regain control soon you will faint
(it's good you're on a floor already because last time you collapsed and you had a bruise on your face for weeks and when people asked if you were ok you knew they were all thinking only one thing and no one believed you that you hit yourself so they just smiled with a hint of sadness in their eyes and walked away and every time you were out with your husband he got judgmental looks from the same people)

all you can do is breathe and push away the tingling sensation that has taken over your shaking body
(focus on your breath and the cold tears running down your cheeks dripping into your ears and down your neck and on the floor and the feeling of the old and coarse carpet that collects the salty drops)

your dog keeps bringing you toys because she feels something's wrong and she is always trying to help so she does what makes her happy so it should make you happy
(the softness and warmth of her fur and body is calming)

the phone rings and you see who’s calling so you pick up and just listen and you get calmer with every minute after you finish the one-sided conversation and when you feel like you can finally get up and not collapse you pick yourself up and on all fours you get to the bathroom and into the shower

(you survived)

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Old 02-04-2018, 11:20 AM
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Full blown panic attack?


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Old 02-04-2018, 11:26 AM
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Yes, anxiety is a bitch.
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Old 02-04-2018, 11:39 AM
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Yes it is. I’ve had one in my life caused by a bad mixture of prescription drugs. That was a long time ago.

My wife suffered with them all her adult (from teen-hood) life until she was fully in menopause. Then they suddenly and drastically went away. It made her life hard.




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Old 02-04-2018, 11:45 AM
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Such powerful attacks happen to me very rarely, fortunately. I can’t even imagine having to deal with them on a regular basis.
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Old 02-04-2018, 05:31 PM
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Yeah. My wife had one or two full blown ones per year for decades.

Mostly it was the smaller anxiety attacks which were here fear and anxiety about having a bigger one. She never took medication; she hated that idea.


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