Dear Joker,

[Shay]

My first writing post! I wasn't quite sure where to put this piece though... I just took a guess and landed here. Let me know what you think, I'm open to all opinions; positive and negative.

Hey joker, yeah you. Listen here, I’ve a word or two for you. It’s buried deep in my soul.

Hey joker, what is this life? Do you have a definition for me? Don’t toss me a dictionary, what are you thinking? Words of sequence and order, your mind is chaos and disorder. Rhyme and reason were never your strong points. Joker, joker, grant me a wish, will you? Master of unraveled yarn and insanity, grant me a precious wish. Define right and wrong. Give me something new, with a hint of old. Throw me something dangerous enough to send chills up and down my spine.

Hey joker, tell me a secret, tell me what your true desire is. Tell me dear joker, tell me. Is it buried deep in your soul? Or is it in your sick twisted old mind? Maybe in a new mind? Eyes twisted and hanging, they’re hanging on to the last shred of sanity they may have known. Maybe just maybe everything will be ok. What do you want dear joker?

Hey joker, want to tell me what I want? Where is my peace of mind among your forever going and crazy ideas? Is there room? Is there room for extremes? Is it love? Is it something more? A dog and a cat will fight like a hail storm. Do you see what I see? Feel what I feel? I’ve scars, you’ve scars. It hurts to smile dear joker, master of crazed laughter.

Hey joker, my mind is in pieces. Shattered. Thank you. All my logic has been proven wrong. Where do I go from here?

P.S. dear joker, I love this roller coaster ride. Is it new or old?

[Slick-Jimmy]

Okay, Shay... You give a lil', and I give back.

So this sound a little like free flow poetry in prose. I'm not sure what you're getting at here, lass. It's interesting. I take it that The Joker is a metaphor for Fate or something, or or is it allegorical of life as a game of chance, and the jester is always wild?

Bitter much? Or do you like the masochism? I think you do, you reveling wallower in nihilism...

I'm not going to worry about SPaG. I'll let somebody else tackle that.

You write very nicely. Your voice is very clear. What you are saying isn't, but it has style. There are a couple of redundant spots, but maybe that was intended. This could have been posted in the poetry section.

Break it up a bit and... Well, do what you want. love. You're sexy whatever you do.

Stay Cool, Roll Solid, And Write Hard!!!

Slick Jimmy Has Left The Building...

[Shay]

Thanks Jimmy. I haven't decided what to do with this yet, but we'll see what happens.

[Tau]

This reads very like SoC to me.

That’s said you get a strong voice across, though with this aimless monologue it is hard to tell why or what the voice is such. I think you need a point in there, something to drive the voice to give it more then shades of personality.

It was a interesting read, thank you.

By the way, while this has a very poetic ring to it I am not sure if it would fit all the well in poetry in its current form, here is probably the right place.