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Leather, Guns, and L.A.: recorded. of course.

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Old 07-20-2012, 10:18 PM
maidahl
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Default Leather, Guns, and L.A.: recorded. of course.


Writing forum. Can you guys focus on the lyrics please? Thanks. Although all comments are muuch appreciated. Cameron: Words come and go on this on too cause my microphone is on vacation. Have to use a crappy mode.

recorded song.com



lyrics:


I want my leather a little tighter. Can you cinch it, honey?x2
Zippers blinking. Neon signs fuzzing. Vision blurring .
Eyes watering.
Waving white lines up my nose.
I can smell you from here.
I think I can see the air. Count the Colors in my hair.
In my nighttime. I think I’m alright. Doin all right.

Thank God I’m live In la.
It’s dirty. I like it that way.
I’m rarely melancholy.
There’s no weather hanging about around here.
I like it like that. I like it like that. The city is my polyamorous friend. Thank God I’m Live In La. I’m by the second star on the right.
Thank the stars I’m live in La.

Yeh yeh. Quite the Illest ride of your life.
Gut our guns out. Best guns out.
Gut our guns, got our guns, guns, guns/


I guess I’m sticking it out. One day for two.
People looking for cheap thrills seem to like me too.
I want my leather a little tighter. Can you cinch it, honey?x2
My button’s busted. Can, can you fix it for me?
Are my straps showing? If not, can you show them, baby?
Gut our guns out. Best guns out.
Gut our guns, got our guns, guns, guns/ Oh wow. Look at that. My dress is twirling undone. What have you done. Blame La. Blame LA.


Last edited by maidahl; 10-22-2012 at 11:58 PM..
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Old 07-20-2012, 10:31 PM
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Well judging by lyrics alone some were there and not as mentioned. Also the order was changed up a little bit. Also vocals still good here. It was a bit iffy in some parts but overall still enjoyable as always. Also The way you presented hair, signs, etc in a non direct but still descriptive manner is a plus in my books.

Last edited by Cameron; 07-20-2012 at 10:32 PM.. Reason: Forgot a few topics I almost neglected.
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Old 07-21-2012, 06:53 AM
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If I may I will try to break dow3n the lyrics, ignoring the song itself as I liked it for the most part. I think maybe you should write your lyrics, record them and then post them so they are coinciding with what you actually sing.

Originally Posted by maidahl View Post
Writing forum. Can you guys focus on the lyrics please? Thanks. Although all comments are muuch appreciated. Cameron: Words come and go on this on too cause my microphone is on vacation. Have to use a crappy mode.

recorded song. I wonder if I'm posting too many.

Not in my opinion, but the mods may feel differently.

lyrics:


I want my leather a little tighter. Can you cinch it, honey?x2
Zippers blinking. Neon signs fuzzing. Vision blurring .
Eyes watering.
Waving white lines up my nose.
emphasize this more
I can smell you from here.
I think I can see the air. Count the Colors in my hair.
In my nighttime. I think I知 alright. Doin all right.
Nice, I like this verse a lot. You have a lot of good breaths here.

Thank God I知 live In la.
It痴 dirty. I like it that way.
I知 rarely melancholy.
There痴 no weather hanging about around here.
I like it like that. I like it like that. The city is my polyamorous friend. Thank God I知 Live In La. I知 by the second star on the right.
Thank the stars I知 live in La.
I would make part of this this a chorus and repeat it later on. It sounds better than the following:

[quote
Yeh yeh. Quite the Illest ride of your life.
Gut our guns out. Best guns out.
Gut our guns, got our guns, guns, guns/
[/quote]
Trite

I guess I知 sticking it out. One day for two.
People looking for cheap thrills seem to like me too.
I want my leather a little tighter. Can you cinch it, honey?x2
My button痴 busted. Can, can you fix it for me?
Are my straps showing? If not, can you show them, baby?
Gut our guns out. Best guns out.
Gut our guns, got our guns, guns, guns/ Oh wow. Look at that. My dress is twirling undone. What have you done. Blame La. Blame LA.
Love this part. Has so much potential, like the rest of the piece. Sing damn you. Get rid of the synth.
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Old 07-21-2012, 11:57 AM
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Hahah. Thanks, will. I like the synth. It's a crutch
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Old 07-21-2012, 01:13 PM
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Originally Posted by maidahl View Post
Hahah. Thanks, will. I like the synth. It's a crutch
Crutches are supposed to be temporary. Shed it. ;P
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Old 07-21-2012, 01:44 PM
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Ackk. I don't post the normal voice. I have normal acoustic versions of every song. You might like those more? I don't
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Old 07-21-2012, 02:42 PM
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Originally Posted by maidahl View Post
Ackk. I don't post the normal voice. I have normal acoustic versions of every song. You might like those more? I don't
What do I have to do to hear those?
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Old 07-21-2012, 03:47 PM
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sell me your soul
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Old 07-21-2012, 03:48 PM
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Originally Posted by maidahl View Post
sell me your soul
I already sold it for a kiss in elementary school.
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Old 07-21-2012, 03:49 PM
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I know. I see that. Tis a shame, good sire.
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Old 07-21-2012, 03:52 PM
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Originally Posted by maidahl View Post
I know. I see that. Tis a shame, good sire.
What am I going to do with a soul anyway?

Originally Posted by maidahl View Post
I know. I see that. Tis a shame, good sire.
I'll sell you my body.
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Last edited by luckyme; 07-21-2012 at 10:48 PM.. Reason: could have been one post.
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Old 07-21-2012, 08:22 PM
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Haha/ What can I do with your body? I'm a soul sucker.
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Old 07-22-2012, 06:52 AM
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Originally Posted by maidahl View Post
Haha/ What can I do with your body? I'm a soul sucker.
Really? You're going to set me up like that? You are horrible. This is a public forum.
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Old 07-22-2012, 06:54 AM
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Damn, man. You're always awake. Don't schizos need sleep?
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Old 07-22-2012, 07:00 AM
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Originally Posted by maidahl View Post
Damn, man. You're always awake. Don't schizos need sleep?
I sleep, just not that much.
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Old 07-22-2012, 10:08 AM
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Doesn't that cause psychosis for schizos? I had to do this article... Sleep deprivation stats and shit
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Old 07-22-2012, 10:57 AM
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Originally Posted by maidahl View Post
Doesn't that cause psychosis for schizos? I had to do this article... Sleep deprivation stats and shit
It can, but I am REALLY well medicated.
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Old 07-22-2012, 02:10 PM
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Gotcha.
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