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Hope, After All

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Old 07-27-2017, 01:29 PM
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Default Hope, After All


Hope vaults from inner demons,—
A telluric reaction to the heat;
Like a throng of men with handguns;
Like a cistern only meant to deplete;

And so, in the seaway—it sings;—
With a murmur none hasn’t heeded;—
—Living and writhing for us, so needed
Trembling for the knowledge it brings;—

Sobeit! Tis a—broken voice, a bird—
One without wings or strength to eat;
The—loneliest soldier laid on the street—
And then, in utterance grows too absurd;

But what if, and what then, and too late!—
Have we no reason to be undeterred?
That the Hope should alway have recurred;—
Its fruition, till some aspect, means too great;

‘Twere it better said by others than I—
For the fluttery wings have long been dead;
Such unrest in the devious eyes of men;—
And when it crumbles, we only ask, “Why?"

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Old 08-01-2017, 03:43 PM
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Tis, twere – why? Why? Are you mental?

Punctuation that makes no sense.

I’m sure this means something, and it does in places, but as a whole it all gets tangled in with the fluff in me head.



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Old 08-07-2017, 03:27 AM
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the punctuation is hardcore classic lit. i guess you needed some schoolin!!!!! lol. thanks for reading so much. i'm really a hard idrew fan, and i really respect your comments. all the time. you read a lot?
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Old 08-09-2017, 03:26 PM
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Usually read loads but not this year for some reason.


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Old 08-11-2017, 11:11 AM
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I don't mind the use of archaic terms - sometimes the meter benefits from a 'tis' as opposed to 'it is', but you've used 'twere' incorrectly. It's actually a contraction of 'it were'.

BUT fancy seeing someone using the term 'telluric' on here! Nice to see, and it fits with what you were saying. On the whole I have to agree with iDrew in that I could manage only glimpses of coherent meaning but there were a few nice images all the same.
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Old 08-11-2017, 02:44 PM
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‘tis’

‘it is’ or ‘it's’


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Old 08-12-2017, 12:32 AM
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OK, was a bad example, but there are still times when I find that an archaic word fits the meter better than any other. I don't consider trends in language to be a barrier to whether or not I use a word any more than I would think it tabboo to wear something that isn't currently in fashion.

Why limit an artist's pallette? Paint whatever you like with whatever you choose.
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Old 08-13-2017, 04:11 PM
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We’ll have to disagree on that point honey. I see no value in using pre 19c language in the 21c. Far too many writers use archaic terms because of the way they are taught poetry in school and therefore apply it to sound poetic, even, at times, educated, when to me it just sounds overcooked and poncey. Using archaic language is the real limitation as it prevents invention and so prevents evolution.

There is, and I’m not sure how I feel about this myself, but there is an argument to be made that by placing limitations on oneself will lead to greater development and creation. That said, I’m all about smashing through barriers as I believe that way originality lies. I don’t see discovery or ingenuity being achieved by backward steps into the 19c and beyond.



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Old 08-13-2017, 05:46 PM
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Interesting idea about creativity being driven by restriction. It's probably one route by which creativity is achieved.
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Old 08-14-2017, 06:52 AM
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Suppose I do, in a way, by not allowing myself to use punctuation. Although it's not too uncommon these days it does present a different set of skills from the traditional restrictions with regards to line and stanza breaks, as well as, to some extent, word choices to ensure the integrity of the meaning and to guide the reader with pace and pause.



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