This is my first critique here, so forgive me if it's not what you're looking for.
The concept of this song is good; however I do think it can be improved. The first thing I noticed is that the rhyming seemed kind of elementary and repetitive. What I mean by this is that you use simple words at the end of each line, and used words to rhyme using the ending -ay throughout much of the song. Do you own a rhyming dictionary? There are good ones online, such as rhymezone, but I think the paper ones are better because you can choose your own rhymes and words that seem to rhyme. (Sometimes the online ones don't have very creative near rhymes.) Using a combination of simple and complex words in your rhymes is usually best.
Also your long lines, such as, "My problems melt away when I realize you're here to stay" and "Baby, when your lips touch mine my world instantly brightens. All because" don't look like they'd logistically work with all your short lines. I would consider splitting them up.
This is a good song, though, and a very good concept. Good job