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Old 03-07-2015, 12:36 AM
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Azmacna (Offline)
Word Wizard
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I'm currently working on the opening sentence because that's all I've got time for at the moment! What do you lovely folks think of this:

Darkness had swallowed an impotent sun and here lay Jacob Gray in the belly of the night.
Does the 'so' give it more gravitas? Or does the 'so' give the impression it should be two sentences?

Would that make you want to read the next sentence?

Last edited by Azmacna; 03-07-2015 at 05:39 AM..
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