View Single Post
  #2  
Old 03-12-2013, 04:56 AM
iDrew's Avatar
iDrew (Offline)
Heartbreaking Writer of Staggering Genius
Official Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Throwing wishes off the end of world's longest pier
Posts: 1,271
Thanks: 0
Thanks 441
Default

Not my cup of tea but it seems competent enough. The last line, as a synonymic summing-up of the title, is excellent.

Not too sure how L2 works as a description of the title though.

Can I suggest that perhaps a little assonance and a smidge of alliteration would bring a greater unification to the piece.

As I said, these forms aren’t for me, but good work.


xDrew
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
the CLUELESS COLLECTIVE’S
ALL NEW 19 OUT NOW
(min. system requirement: 1 working brain cell)

Last edited by iDrew; 03-12-2013 at 05:13 AM..
Reply With Quote