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Old 01-30-2018, 08:26 AM
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Icon11 Character and Tension

A pretty effective plot, this draft takes the form of the Bear-at-the-Door which calls for action from the protagonist. Unfortunately, the protagonist a young mother-to-be can only run.

You introduce your audience to a "strange woman" as the title reiterates; this character is a pretty good judge of the moment, but we want more. Robert, not as round as the woman, but an important catalyst for sustaining the tension. The pregnant girl wants to be home, but is instead looking into the face of a stranger.

I like the way Robert carries a distance from the girl, yet has the job of keeping the tension between the girl and the woman real. His rhetorical questions about the girl works the distance. Maybe you can have Robert connect with something else in the scene so that the audience feels him as a better character.
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