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Old 01-12-2018, 12:12 PM
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pralina (Offline)
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Originally Posted by IanG View Post
This piece started well, but if you want people to keep reading then don't give too much away too soon. Also, perhaps you should mention a case where your heroine had a vision and it came true soon afterwards. It makes her worries about this new vision more plausible. A lot of people worry about various things and it doesn't take a clairvoyant to predict that a teenaged mother could have a tough time of it. A vision of a disaster that no one else had predicted, that was hard to predict even through rational deduction, might make more of an impact on readers and characters alike.

By the way, you wrote 'street laps' when presumably you mean street lamps. I've done just as bad myself but I thought I'd mention it.
I was going to make quite a long story with these characters where it's all explained. I have written outline and then I lost interest and I have no idea if I will ever pick that up again. Thanks anyways!
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