View Single Post
  #1  
Old 02-15-2015, 02:26 PM
garviel (Offline)
Abnormally Articulate
Official Member
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Norway
Posts: 142
Thanks: 11
Thanks 43
Default Dominus Daemonium (about 430 words)


Hello everyone

I am looking for feedback on this opening scene from a shortstory I am writing. Does it pique your interest? Do you find it intriguing, boring, strange etc.

All comments welcome !


Working title: Dominus Daemonium

Black exquisitely polished shoes sank into the thick, deep carpet. Lucian Auberon Smythe, impeccably dressed in his Savile Row tailored suit, entered his study precisely as his Patek Phillipe Grandmaster Chime wristwatch indicated six o'clock in the evening. The rich burgundy, plum color-palette of his grand Victorian style study-room invited an extravagant but harmonious quality. Cream white furniture with gold details, a white Italian Fazioli ten-foot grand piano and a wide range of the rarest and choicest collector's items populated the open space around the large centrally placed table where he spent his countless hours of solemn studies of the occult. Wide curtained floor-to-ceiling windows let the mild autumn season into his view, the final rays of sunlight beaming through the emerald colored fabrics as the sun gave way to the Moon. Leaves of orange and yellow draped the two massive and ancient oak trees that had stood watch outside his sixteenth-century estate for as long as he could remember.

Smythe cast a glance towards his antique book collection as he walked over to the windows. Housed in a golden-framed glass table each book was meticulously positioned to accentuate its qualities and display its most valuable traits. Near priceless, a 1605 edition of Don Quixote in its original title El ingenioso hidalgo don Quixote De la Mancha lay opened in its cradle, and next to it a 1667 first edition of Paradise Lost by John Milton. His most priced collectable however was a thirteenth century occult book with a, for the time-period, unheard of example of an exorbitantly ornate and detailed fore-edge painting showing demonic scenes from the netherworld. The book was handwritten to perfection and bound by a master craftsman. The cover was a seductive delight of gold letters with ruby-red and silver-black decorations forming the book's title, Dominus Daemonium. According to his extensive research into the origin of this piece of history, the book was original and written by a monk during his two year stay at the Santa Maria della Spina in Pisa, Italy, and who was said to have developed a bizarre fascination with the demonic aspects of Christianity. Purportedly he had allowed himself to be possessed by a demon in order to receive the profound message that was now preserved on its fragile leaves. The book, the only one of its kind, was written in Latin, but Smythe had translated it and become enamored with its opening sentence:

He who read this book shall become the instrument of his own demise.

As he gazed out across the vast lawn excitement arose in his chest. Just six more minutes now and his magnum opus would be complete.

Reply With Quote