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Old 02-24-2018, 09:25 AM
TimeWaster (Offline)
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A remarkable tale you have woven here. It's very hard-hitting, and comes packed with a message that has significance for any reader's individual life, whoever they might be. You don't see much of that anymore.

It might be better, however, to weave the moral into the story somewhere as a character quotation or thought. The dry postscript addition at the end tends to kill the magic, and magic is one of the most crucial elements in a whimsical, fantastic piece like this.
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