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Forum: Fiction 01-30-2018, 08:26 AM
Replies: 20
Views: 743
Posted By Escriber*
Icon11 Character and Tension

A pretty effective plot, this draft takes the form of the Bear-at-the-Door which calls for action from the protagonist. Unfortunately, the protagonist a young mother-to-be can only run.

You...
Forum: Fiction 01-30-2018, 08:07 AM
Replies: 25
Views: 849
Posted By Escriber*
Icon2 Directions

This is a pretty good draft that can take many directions. Is there one you prefer? A short story, flash fiction, or an essay?

Whatever you do, keep writing. You have already accomplished...
Forum: Writers' Cafe 05-20-2017, 06:08 AM
Replies: 32
Views: 6,439
Posted By Escriber*
Icon14 Favorite Words

I love the silent letter in the word "paradigm".

It means a perfect example of something-
Forum: Fiction 04-25-2017, 07:19 AM
Replies: 12
Views: 1,872
Posted By Escriber*
Icon12 The Big Weight

Very good writing here. I really enjoyed your story; you have publishable talent. Keep writing.

The things you achieve in this draft are strong characterization and conflict. We see Gary as a...
Forum: Fiction 04-10-2017, 08:16 AM
Replies: 75
Views: 12,664
Posted By Escriber*
Would You Keep Reading

Yes. There is a strong plot and subplot with a few pretty round characters. You have achieved in delivering a story.

I really liked the introduction of the character "Enigmus". It makes the...
Forum: Writers' Cafe 03-29-2017, 07:35 AM
Replies: 56
Views: 3,779
Posted By Escriber*
Is this forum dead?

I really, really, hope not.

I've been here a while and I've gotten used to this place and people. I don't want to even thinking about looking for a new one. How about you?
Forum: Fiction 03-29-2017, 07:06 AM
Replies: 12
Views: 2,734
Posted By Escriber*
My Relationship with Death

Very successful Personification of "Death" here.

The strong, active voice allows for a more brilliant personification. We know that Death has taken on a full body presence and can think and act...
Forum: Fiction 03-28-2017, 07:00 AM
Replies: 204
Views: 27,879
Posted By Escriber*
The Mere Tide

Interesting choice of quotes for the opening. Very strong.

The story takes the shape of the Stranger-Comes-to-Town in which the main character walks into an unfamiliar world and takes on some...
Forum: Board Games 11-16-2015, 06:50 AM
Replies: 12,429
Views: 240,079
Posted By Escriber*
feet

feet
Forum: Fiction 11-16-2015, 06:47 AM
Replies: 19
Views: 1,800
Posted By Escriber*
Icon6 As it goes, there was conflict then resolution....

As it goes, there was conflict then resolution. Some deliberation, then definite resolution. Doesn't get any simplier than that.

A very interesting first person narration in the shape of a...
Forum: Fiction 11-16-2015, 06:24 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 1,647
Posted By Escriber*
The setting and characterization are your two...

The setting and characterization are your two strong points in this draft. You maintain an air with the mansion and chauffeur. The reader understands how important it was to have the chauffeur...
Forum: Writers' Cafe 11-16-2015, 06:04 AM
Replies: 142
Views: 11,709
Posted By Escriber*
Icon3 Good topic. When I read literary fiction I am...

Good topic. When I read literary fiction I am discovering an "eternal" struggle. Not only conflict, literary fiction mainly flows from interdisciplinary discourse from philosophy, history, art along...
Forum: Free Writing 11-12-2015, 07:03 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 783
Posted By Escriber*
Icon11 There's so much direction in this one. You seem...

There's so much direction in this one. You seem to know where it is you're going.

Good job. Keep writing.
Forum: Writers' Cafe 11-12-2015, 07:01 AM
Replies: 31
Views: 2,664
Posted By Escriber*
I want to put in writing- exactly what life has...

I want to put in writing- exactly what life has done to me.

Rememory, memory, or exercise
Forum: Board Games 11-12-2015, 06:59 AM
Replies: 9,470
Views: 204,815
Posted By Escriber*
Icon2 How 'bout this one- Where's the door?

How 'bout this one-

Where's the door?
Forum: Fiction 11-12-2015, 06:56 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 1,086
Posted By Escriber*
This is an effective second person narrator....

This is an effective second person narrator. Successful at reeling your readers into thinking about the cause-and-effect game of reality. Seems like a lose/ lose situation every time huh?

You...
Forum: Fiction 11-12-2015, 06:42 AM
Replies: 13
Views: 1,145
Posted By Escriber*
Icon12 Mr. Dean

I really like this story. Would be very interested in reading the complete story. You have accomplished connecting your audience to a very strong, round character- Mr. Dean. Through dialogue and...
Forum: Writers' Cafe 11-09-2015, 06:50 AM
Replies: 23
Views: 2,222
Posted By Escriber*
I would choose clairaudience. Being able to hear...

I would choose clairaudience. Being able to hear things at great distances and the ability to change sight into sound.

What great wizard I would be.
Forum: Writers' Cafe 11-06-2015, 06:37 AM
Replies: 31
Views: 2,664
Posted By Escriber*
Icon14 I like being able to recount the happenings and...

I like being able to recount the happenings and going-ons that matter in life.

Stars the second time around. . .
Forum: Fiction 11-06-2015, 06:33 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 831
Posted By Escriber*
This story can work. You really should keep...

This story can work. You really should keep writing.

Pretty good characterization. The size of the trucks and the capactiy helps readers sense how big the truck is and what to expect from it....
Forum: Writers' Cafe 11-06-2015, 06:02 AM
Replies: 49
Views: 2,715
Posted By Escriber*
Icon4 Well everybody needs to take a break now and...

Well everybody needs to take a break now and then.

Does get pretty hectic around here. But for the most part, the writing is pretty reliable.

So, you may be a 'troll' if you are sticking...
Forum: Writers' Cafe 11-06-2015, 05:58 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 928
Posted By Escriber*
Not particularly my favorite professor, once told...

Not particularly my favorite professor, once told me that I should rewrite my story to include chronic and static tension.

Otherwise known as plot and subplot, you need to be able to pull your...
Forum: Writing Help & Issues 11-06-2015, 05:54 AM
Replies: 20
Views: 5,062
Posted By Escriber*
:smiley_drinkcoffee:In my writing experience, if...

:smiley_drinkcoffee:In my writing experience, if an editor states 'nothing happened' it means there was a problem with the plot or there was not enough of subplot.

Remember to make a good story...
Forum: Fiction 11-06-2015, 05:46 AM
Replies: 21
Views: 1,723
Posted By Escriber*
Very effective introduction of character and...

Very effective introduction of character and setting. These two things you accomplish in the story. Great job, keep writing.

Your story takes the shape of the Bear-at-the-Door in which a...
Forum: Writers' Cafe 11-06-2015, 05:26 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 801
Posted By Escriber*
Yeah, that's pretty close to my title. Wish...

Yeah, that's pretty close to my title.

Wish you luck. Keep posting.:smiley_coffee:
Showing results 1 to 25 of 500

 

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