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Search: Posts Made By: FireHill
Forum: Poetry 05-04-2013, 03:47 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 547
Posted By FireHill
Yes, this is a pretty good. Ilseum has made some...

Yes, this is a pretty good. Ilseum has made some good points; reading a poem aloud should be step one in any revision/tweaking process.

I would only add that where you say "she is an angel, you...
Forum: Poetry 04-27-2013, 08:48 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 494
Posted By FireHill
Well this is a compact little treasure. Sultry...

Well this is a compact little treasure. Sultry and perfect as it is, thanks for posting.
Forum: Poetry 04-27-2013, 08:47 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 385
Posted By FireHill
I like this! You make the point of how the world...

I like this! You make the point of how the world feels totally screwed up, and only 4 stanzas into a 5 stanza poem do we get the reason, the loss of the speaker's mother. You didn't beat it over the...
Forum: Publishing 04-27-2013, 03:46 PM
Replies: 10
Views: 1,851
Posted By FireHill
Does stuff posted on WB count as "published"?

I never really thought too much about getting myself published, but lately the idea has been growing in my mind somewhat. Now I'm wondering if the poems I've posted here for critique count as having...
Forum: Poetry 04-26-2013, 01:44 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 601
Posted By FireHill
Thanks J, for the comments, and for taking the...

Thanks J, for the comments, and for taking the time to read this longish poem. I'm currently playing around with this, will probably be doing some pruning, especially those mentioned stanzas. I think...
Forum: Poetry 04-24-2013, 03:21 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 601
Posted By FireHill
Very true, I like it better without those...

Very true, I like it better without those stanzas. Thanks for pointing it out.
Forum: Poetry 04-23-2013, 03:47 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 601
Posted By FireHill
Thanks for taking the time to read and comment,...

Thanks for taking the time to read and comment, Hey.
Forum: Poetry 04-23-2013, 03:19 PM
Replies: 2
Dog
Views: 325
Posted By FireHill
Dog

Inspired by gloryia's poem, not really the sentiment, just the metered poem about a dog, mainly. Also, note that I'm actually a dog lover, and am not really convinced that what I write about here is...
Forum: Poetry 04-23-2013, 03:10 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 380
Posted By FireHill
Very nice! At first, I hated that you left off...

Very nice! At first, I hated that you left off the meter in the final two lines... but I then saw that it works with what you say there. How can such complexity and depth, the depth of the Other...
Forum: Poetry 04-23-2013, 03:06 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 365
Posted By FireHill
Very nice sir! Part of me wants to say, tighten...

Very nice sir! Part of me wants to say, tighten this up a bit. Stuff like this, I might suggest.

...And my bones creak like [the] branches in the cold wind,
that burns my face,
And it always...
Forum: Poetry 04-23-2013, 02:56 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 419
Posted By FireHill
I like the sentiments, but I feel the leap from a...

I like the sentiments, but I feel the leap from a bee to the pioneering, individualist spirit a bit too far for me to jump.
Forum: Poetry 04-20-2013, 12:59 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 492
Posted By FireHill
This goes along with some things I've been...

This goes along with some things I've been thinking and feeling lately. Synchronicity. I like it.
Forum: Poetry 04-20-2013, 07:04 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 601
Posted By FireHill
Coffeehouse

I come into this place
looking for energy,

sitting and moving
with what flows into me,
trying to find a love
and a life worth the work,
the harried hardness,
falling into a world of...
Forum: Poetry 04-20-2013, 06:36 AM
Replies: 9
Views: 919
Posted By FireHill
Very good, Kirk. I didn't so much like the...

Very good, Kirk. I didn't so much like the "laugh-out-loud" line, which feels too light for this... but the rest was great. Depth and complexity of love relationships, the holding back, the coming...
Forum: Poetry 04-19-2013, 02:02 PM
Replies: 32
Views: 3,032
Posted By FireHill
Yes, but why are they evil minded in the first...

Yes, but why are they evil minded in the first place? How did they get that way? What is the context?
Forum: Poetry 04-18-2013, 06:24 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 351
Posted By FireHill
This is beautiful. But I think I'm going to need...

This is beautiful. But I think I'm going to need time to digest this a bit, because it has much depth to it. But I like your style.
Forum: Poetry 04-18-2013, 06:15 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 436
Posted By FireHill
sweetness, all the way through. I also really...

sweetness, all the way through. I also really liked the final lines, very cool.
Forum: Poetry 04-18-2013, 06:05 PM
Replies: 32
Views: 3,032
Posted By FireHill
evilly insane. Ugh. This is sort of like...

evilly insane. Ugh.

This is sort of like calling someone subhuman, or a monster, irretrievably lost. If you're not with us you're against us, we're good, you're bad, and therefore, it's okay for...
Forum: Poetry 04-18-2013, 05:56 PM
Replies: 32
Views: 3,032
Posted By FireHill
This is brilliant and powerful, true right down...

This is brilliant and powerful, true right down to the ground.
Forum: Poetry 04-18-2013, 05:47 PM
Replies: 0
Views: 344
Posted By FireHill
Boston 4/15

Some unknown hate
blooms flowers of spreading shrapnel
and takes out the legs of
a good thing running.

Or tries to.
But soon that hate will learn
that shadows are unknown to the sun,
and...
Forum: Poetry 04-16-2013, 03:54 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 456
Posted By FireHill
More like this, please.

More like this, please.
Forum: Poetry 04-15-2013, 03:12 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 448
Posted By FireHill
yeah, what Kirk said.

yeah, what Kirk said.
Forum: Poetry 04-15-2013, 03:08 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 556
Posted By FireHill
Man, Maidahl, gimme some of what you're...

Man, Maidahl, gimme some of what you're smokin'...

I mean that in a good way. This is fun to read. I can't make a ton of sense out of it, as a good percentage of it seems to be there because it...
Forum: Poetry 04-15-2013, 03:02 PM
Replies: 14
Views: 1,384
Posted By FireHill
I went to Catholic school. For one thing, that...

I went to Catholic school. For one thing, that song has Catholic girls totally wrong...

For another, nice poem, beef. I like how it ends on a "close your eyes and cross your fingers" note.
Forum: Poetry 04-15-2013, 02:54 PM
Replies: 13
Views: 1,132
Posted By FireHill
...clamo ad te domine? ;) I like this...

...clamo ad te domine? ;)

I like this little snippet. For me, it has a sweetness in it that strikes a chord. Thanks.
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