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Search: Posts Made By: Velva
Forum: Non-Fiction 02-28-2008, 02:21 PM
Replies: 9
Views: 1,103
Posted By Velva
Saturday's bread

Iím using my mixer to knead a batch of bread when suddenly a memory dances into the forefront of my brain unbidden but not unwelcome.

I am 12 years old again and it is Saturday morning in...
Forum: Poetry 02-28-2008, 01:32 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 1,335
Posted By Velva
Thanks to all of you

Thanks for taking the time to comment on this. It's an idea that I want to put out there, however I have no claim to any real training as a poet. Most of what I write is articles and/or interviews.
...
Forum: Poetry 02-26-2008, 09:51 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 1,335
Posted By Velva
Life Lessons

Life Lessons

Once upon a timeÖ

A baby learned that a mother can hurt and help at the same time.
A little girl learned that moving is less painful if you donít get attached.
A...
Forum: Fiction 04-08-2007, 09:33 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 909
Posted By Velva
Wow! This is dark and twisty. I like it a lot....

Wow! This is dark and twisty. I like it a lot. I'm going to post comments and suggestions inline in red. Overall, I wouldn't change much, and you're more than welcome to take my suggestions with a...
Forum: Previous Contests 04-03-2007, 10:28 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 2,338
Posted By Velva
My first (and last) cigarette

October 1985
ďÖbut you let Dena rip up one cigarette for every one you smoked. Sheís at college now, and she asked me to keep an eye on you and make sure you didnít smoke too much.Ē I whined.
Craig...
Forum: Free Writing 04-03-2007, 10:00 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 962
Posted By Velva
Ethan's Room (rewrite)

In Ethanís room, I feel complete and whole. I know my power and I am not afraid of it. I know, at least for this moment, that I am where I need to be. Thereís just one thing that gnaws at my heart...
Forum: Fiction 02-23-2007, 06:33 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 869
Posted By Velva
No worries Starpanda. That why I waited until my...

No worries Starpanda. That why I waited until my mama bear attitude passed before rereading your comments and realizing you were right. ;)

I have an idea floating around for how this is going to...
Forum: Fiction 02-22-2007, 09:21 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 869
Posted By Velva
Hey there Tina. After walking away from...

Hey there Tina.

After walking away from your review for a couple of hours (insert visual of me raging and then walking the dogs and starting dinner) I'm able to respond to it, and I appreciate...
Forum: Fiction 02-20-2007, 08:04 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 869
Posted By Velva
Armor - Chapter 2

Tara looked around the room as Ian closed the door behind them. There were photos on every possible surface. Snapshots of family and friends juxtaposed against black and white art prints gave the...
Forum: Fiction 12-21-2006, 08:56 AM
Replies: 3
Poll: Beach Roses
Views: 1,064
Posted By Velva
Hmmm... perhaps I need to do something with...

Hmmm... perhaps I need to do something with formatting. I'm trying to create a story about someone who is working on something in the present while remembering a string of events that led to where...
Forum: Fiction 12-20-2006, 08:56 PM
Replies: 3
Poll: Beach Roses
Views: 1,064
Posted By Velva
Beach Roses

Alchemy isnít necessarily a good thing.

The pale girl turned the note over and over in her hands while she pondered its contents.

She relived the moment that the breath left her body as she...
Forum: The Notice Board 12-17-2006, 11:21 AM
Replies: 28
Views: 3,251
Posted By Velva
Happy Birthday!!!

Happy Birthday!!!
Forum: Free Writing 12-15-2006, 02:39 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 1,439
Posted By Velva
Thanks both of you for your comments. I'm going...

Thanks both of you for your comments. I'm going to play around with this a bit more and incorporate your input before moving on to the next part.
Forum: Fiction 12-13-2006, 08:46 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 1,279
Posted By Velva
I really like the overall tone of this, and the...

I really like the overall tone of this, and the characters are people I would like to know more about. Most of my comments are more related to grammar and clarity. Please note that a lot of what I...
Forum: Free Writing 12-13-2006, 08:46 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 1,439
Posted By Velva
Armor

Tara came to a stop in front of the nondescript suburban ranch house. A leaf, carried by a light wind, came to rest on the hood of her car. She took a deep breath and let it out again. Her heart...
Forum: Inkster Incorporated 12-12-2006, 03:26 PM
Replies: 17
Views: 3,715
Posted By Velva
Actually, that little monologue ia absolutely...

Actually, that little monologue ia absolutely chilling in the original graphic novel, however graphic novels are, by nature, a highly visual medium.

Personally, when I'm looking for snappy...
Forum: Free Writing 12-10-2006, 09:37 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 1,525
Posted By Velva
Icon7 I really don't have any grammar discussion to add...

I really don't have any grammar discussion to add beyond the first critique, and since you've incorporated his edits it would be redundant for me to give you those notes now. I'd like to see you...
Forum: Non-Fiction 12-07-2006, 03:23 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 921
Posted By Velva
Saying Goodbye (still trying to work out a title)

I sit next to my grandmotherís bed and let my hand rest in hers as I sing her to sleep. This 90th birthday party has been a very long day for her, and she is exhausted. But she is lucid enough today...
Forum: Free Writing 12-07-2006, 01:06 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 1,796
Posted By Velva
Icon7 I really appreciate your thoughts. I'll play...

I really appreciate your thoughts. I'll play around with this a bit more and try to flesh it out. Parts of it are based in my personal reality, however fleshing it out more might make it more...
Forum: Free Writing 12-07-2006, 09:29 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 1,796
Posted By Velva
Ethan's Room

In Ethanís room I feel complete and whole. I know my power and I am not afraid of it. I know that at least for this moment I am where I need to be. Thereís just one thing that gnaws at my heart and...
Forum: Writers' Cafe 12-06-2006, 08:52 PM
Replies: 33
Views: 1,917
Posted By Velva
I listen to almost everything, but I really love...

I listen to almost everything, but I really love a good singer-songwriter. I have a tendency to get stuck on one artist at a time and listen to everything I can get my hands on. Right now I'm going...
Forum: Introductions 12-06-2006, 08:35 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 664
Posted By Velva
Icon7 Another new kid

Hi all,

I am a fairly inexperienced writer who gave it up for about ten years before having an experience earlier this year which reminded me that I am a writer at heart.

I'm really enjoying...
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