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Search: Posts Made By: E. Zamora
Forum: Poetry 10-21-2014, 03:34 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 561
Posted By E. Zamora
Thanks guys. Yes, the title is too easy of a...

Thanks guys. Yes, the title is too easy of a setup and immediately plays into the stereotype of the evil stepmother. I wanted it to be about a gold digger, but I if I do anything with this, I'll have...
Forum: Poetry 10-20-2014, 06:37 AM
Replies: 35
Views: 2,275
Posted By E. Zamora
5

5
Forum: Poetry 10-19-2014, 11:14 PM
Replies: 35
Views: 2,275
Posted By E. Zamora
That sounds like more squirming caused by...

That sounds like more squirming caused by simply_words' frank, uninhibited bursts of emotion.
Forum: Poetry 10-19-2014, 12:41 PM
Replies: 35
Views: 2,275
Posted By E. Zamora
You are welcome. If it’s okay, I’m going to keep...

You are welcome. If it’s okay, I’m going to keep a copy of the list on hand for any future conversations we might have.

Cheers!
Forum: Poetry 10-19-2014, 12:09 PM
Replies: 35
Views: 2,275
Posted By E. Zamora
Let's see; I choose 3, 4 and 5 off the above...

Let's see; I choose 3, 4 and 5 off the above list.

Thanks for making that easy!
Forum: Poetry 10-19-2014, 11:45 AM
Replies: 35
Views: 2,275
Posted By E. Zamora
Would that be before or after he got over the...

Would that be before or after he got over the shock? :)
Forum: Poetry 10-18-2014, 04:21 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 561
Posted By E. Zamora
Dear Stepmother

Your so-called compassion
is the hollow
point bullet fired
at the already wounded.

Oh, how you hovered,
and smothered
the dying with the soft pillow
of your empty platitudes.
Forum: Poetry 10-18-2014, 02:21 PM
Replies: 9
Views: 818
Posted By E. Zamora
I can relate. It's a universal theme; what can...

I can relate. It's a universal theme; what can happen to a relationship if you're too caught up in the day-to-day. There's an underlying feeling of real fear and foreboding, maybe the potential for...
Forum: Poetry 10-15-2014, 05:23 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 725
Posted By E. Zamora
This is a really fun. It is refreshing among all...

This is a really fun. It is refreshing among all the usual heaviness.

Normally, I would say alliteration is good only in small doses, but here all of it just adds to the sense of playfulness. The...
Forum: Poetry 10-14-2014, 01:26 PM
Replies: 35
Views: 2,275
Posted By E. Zamora
This line is really loaded. It tells me the son...

This line is really loaded. It tells me the son died. It tells me of the narrator's resentment. How much more do you need?

The problem that I see is that one or even a few of the things pointed...
Forum: Poetry 10-13-2014, 09:51 AM
Replies: 14
Views: 940
Posted By E. Zamora
Perhaps never was an overstatement. But I would...

Perhaps never was an overstatement. But I would not equate telling my child about Santa Clause with telling him to lie to another adult.

Otherwise, I will work harder next time to qualify...
Forum: Poetry 10-13-2014, 08:38 AM
Replies: 14
Views: 940
Posted By E. Zamora
Not that if matters, but as a parent, I would...

Not that if matters, but as a parent, I would never tell my child to lie. Such a circumstance would be as good a time as any for a child to learn that telling the truth doesn't always yield the most...
Forum: Poetry 10-13-2014, 05:38 AM
Replies: 14
Views: 940
Posted By E. Zamora
To me the title suggests that the adult writer is...

To me the title suggests that the adult writer is also faced with the same struggle, which is the choice between using cliché to relay whatever he considers the "truth" as opposed to coming up with...
Forum: Poetry 10-12-2014, 02:59 PM
Replies: 14
Views: 940
Posted By E. Zamora
It terms of writing, something usually becomes a...

It terms of writing, something usually becomes a cliché because it's based in truth, or on something to which people can easily relate.

To avoid cliché, it's up to the writer to present something...
Forum: Poetry 10-09-2014, 06:28 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 569
Posted By E. Zamora
It's a fine idea. But the reveal about the "docs"...

It's a fine idea. But the reveal about the "docs" is pretty heavy-handed; kind of lets all the air out. It seems like this would be far more effective if you could convey that the narrator is...
Forum: Poetry 10-08-2014, 02:19 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 574
Posted By E. Zamora
shepdog, thanks for the reread and comments. ...

shepdog, thanks for the reread and comments.

JoeMatt, I'm not crazy about the ending either. It seems a little trite. I'll give it another go. I'm glad the rest of it worked for you.

scottelot,...
Forum: Poetry 10-08-2014, 02:13 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 665
Posted By E. Zamora
Should that be "dogged?" I don't really care...

Should that be "dogged?"

I don't really care for starting every line with a cap. Maybe it's just me, but it seems to add an unnecessary pause. And with something of this length, I think full...
Forum: Poetry 10-08-2014, 12:15 AM
Replies: 89
Views: 5,112
Posted By E. Zamora
And I think I feel another "vacant/emotionally...

And I think I feel another "vacant/emotionally bankrupt poem" coming on!
Forum: Poetry 10-07-2014, 10:04 PM
Replies: 89
Views: 5,112
Posted By E. Zamora
You do seem a little slow. You are the one who is...

You do seem a little slow. You are the one who is pretending to be the good guy and savior of the forum while slinging the dumb insults and making the personal attacks. That's what makes you a...
Forum: Poetry 10-07-2014, 02:33 PM
Replies: 89
Views: 5,112
Posted By E. Zamora
So you see it as some kind of deficiency if...

So you see it as some kind of deficiency if someone isn't aware of a stupid acronym propagated on the internet by people who aren't clever enough to come up with their own barbs? Never mind someone...
Forum: Poetry 10-07-2014, 02:11 PM
Replies: 89
Views: 5,112
Posted By E. Zamora
This is indeed entertaining. simply_words will no...

This is indeed entertaining. simply_words will no doubt chalk this up to bootlicking, but it is so funny to watch someone like him get a thorough ass-kicking and not even be remotely aware of it.

...
Forum: Poetry 10-06-2014, 03:15 PM
Replies: 89
Views: 5,112
Posted By E. Zamora
Just to clarify; this is what happens on...

Just to clarify; this is what happens on "several" writing sites:

People join the forum, then they peruse the posts in the poetry forum and see all the harsh critiques issued by the Evil Three,...
Forum: Poetry 10-06-2014, 10:09 AM
Replies: 89
Views: 5,112
Posted By E. Zamora
Why don't you just answer the question. What are...

Why don't you just answer the question. What are the MANY forums?

If you are willing to fabricate this nonsense about other forums, why should anyone take any of your other accusations seriously?
Forum: Poetry 10-06-2014, 09:46 AM
Replies: 89
Views: 5,112
Posted By E. Zamora
MANY forums? What other forums? I'm only posting...

MANY forums? What other forums? I'm only posting on one other forum. The other members of the imaginary gang don't post there.
Forum: Poetry 10-06-2014, 07:31 AM
Replies: 89
Views: 5,112
Posted By E. Zamora
^^^ ...

^^^
http://img.pandawhale.com/49652-Homer-Simpson-brain-monkey-cym-xMyr.gif
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