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Forum: Free Writing 02-01-2016, 04:23 AM
Replies: 26
Views: 3,183
Posted By Fernias
A well written piece LuvKnife... Can't help but...

A well written piece LuvKnife... Can't help but choke on the hypocrisy though: A person denouncing those who "recreate" too much through the medium of poetry - traditional pastime of the well...
Forum: Poetry 01-31-2016, 02:50 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 677
Posted By Fernias
sorry for being slow to reply. The poem was a...

sorry for being slow to reply. The poem was a drunken post and I clean forgot about it.

KBR - thanks for reading, and responding. Appreciated.

iDrew - you're right with the blindfolded...
Forum: Poetry 01-19-2016, 04:09 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 677
Posted By Fernias
Life

Dust flew at him
blindfolded eyes
and thumping rotor blades
grew faint overhead

blindfold off
blinding and burning
with endless dunes
In all directions
Forum: Writers' Cafe 09-22-2015, 04:51 PM
Replies: 22
Views: 1,892
Posted By Fernias
I'm currently working on a backstory for a...

I'm currently working on a backstory for a philosophical fantasy. The backstory won't necessarily enter into the plot in its entirety when it comes to the writing - I just want the story to be...
Forum: Writers' Cafe 09-21-2015, 03:56 PM
Replies: 22
Views: 1,892
Posted By Fernias
For centrifugal force to impart a gravity-like...

For centrifugal force to impart a gravity-like effect you wouldn't need acceleration. The natural course of an object in motion, when acted upon by no other force, is a straight line. Water spinning...
Forum: Writers' Cafe 09-20-2015, 04:00 PM
Replies: 22
Views: 1,892
Posted By Fernias
Don't want to take your thread too far off track,...

Don't want to take your thread too far off track, but I wasn't referring to the experiment you cite. The speed of light has been experimentally exceeded through different mediums for many years. The...
Forum: Writers' Cafe 09-19-2015, 05:03 PM
Replies: 26
Views: 2,862
Posted By Fernias
I agree with jolly. Writers observe, interpret,...

I agree with jolly. Writers observe, interpret, and express the world and, since tension is basically a necessity in fictional work, I would have thought arguments on a writer's site to be just more...
Forum: Writers' Cafe 09-19-2015, 04:46 PM
Replies: 22
Views: 1,892
Posted By Fernias
Max, look a little deeper into the light-speed...

Max, look a little deeper into the light-speed ceiling. Things can, and do, travel at faster speeds. Also, there might be some interesting way to incorporate quantum entanglement into some kind of...
Forum: Poetry 09-08-2015, 06:38 PM
Replies: 20
Views: 1,891
Posted By Fernias
Some of your enjambment is awkward and pointless,...

Some of your enjambment is awkward and pointless, as if your only criteria for choosing a break was to achieve originality by dint of a departure from convention. Some nice imagery is detracted from...
Forum: The SPaG Workshop 07-30-2015, 11:44 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 2,342
Posted By Fernias
You sure? I'm not seeing it. Never mind....

You sure? I'm not seeing it.

Never mind. Got it. I'm not too clued up on passive voice. Really only knew the obvious ones, where there is a clear subject, object and past participle. Didn't...
Forum: The SPaG Workshop 07-30-2015, 02:47 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 2,342
Posted By Fernias
You could go with something like: The blood...

You could go with something like: The blood vessels were self-repairing, having a chemical composition which, when cut, reacted to cause localised cauterization. They therefore bled very little when...
Forum: Introductions 07-30-2015, 02:19 AM
Replies: 14
Views: 1,205
Posted By Fernias
Shit! Ok, don't panic. We knew this day would...

Shit! Ok, don't panic. We knew this day would come. Just follow procedure. Everyone file out in an orderly fashion and gather in the safety area for a head count. Nick, call the FBI, I'll do 911.
Forum: Fiction 07-30-2015, 02:13 AM
Replies: 22
Views: 1,697
Posted By Fernias
Really depends, now that I think about it. I took...

Really depends, now that I think about it. I took this as an intro to a longer work, and in that case I like the new ending, but reading the poster a few above this I get the impression it might be a...
Forum: Free Writing 07-29-2015, 07:50 PM
Replies: 14
Views: 2,031
Posted By Fernias
Attitudes like this are part of the political...

Attitudes like this are part of the political problem. You imply we have no choice but to select amongst the candidates put forth, but that's not democracy. Power collects where opinion pools - if we...
Forum: Poetry 07-29-2015, 05:28 PM
Replies: 50
Views: 3,398
Posted By Fernias
What, exactly, can she back up, consistently? ...

What, exactly, can she back up, consistently?

I've noticed the humour, but when the edge of her wit serves only to cut someone down some of the humour is displaced by empathy for the victim. ...
Forum: Free Writing 07-29-2015, 03:19 AM
Replies: 14
Views: 2,031
Posted By Fernias
We must both listen to the same asshole. I just...

We must both listen to the same asshole. I just said this same thing In another thread. I couldn't remember who the asshole was either.
Forum: Writers' Cafe 07-29-2015, 02:59 AM
Replies: 43
Views: 3,578
Posted By Fernias
Reason for edit: Had something here before... Yes...

Reason for edit: Had something here before... Yes sir, but it was a bit crude, so I erased it.
Forum: Poetry 07-29-2015, 02:35 AM
Replies: 19
Views: 2,229
Posted By Fernias
This one gave me a chuckle at the end. That's...

This one gave me a chuckle at the end. That's exactly how I used to feel after blasting a twelve gauge solid slug into the surface of a dam, hearing that booming whallop, watching the toss of h2o and...
Forum: Poetry 07-29-2015, 02:25 AM
Replies: 35
Views: 4,051
Posted By Fernias
Nicely said Nick, and well put Mr Pierce. Haven't...

Nicely said Nick, and well put Mr Pierce. Haven't seen the movie. It's an interesting topic - what compels such inhumanity? The only answer seems to be fear.

Your delivery is good, as per...
Forum: Poetry 07-29-2015, 02:05 AM
Replies: 16
Views: 1,669
Posted By Fernias
Had flashbacks of Kafka reading this. Good read....

Had flashbacks of Kafka reading this. Good read. I would change "the " to "a" in L1. Otherwise no useful suggestions I can give.
Forum: Fiction 07-29-2015, 01:51 AM
Replies: 22
Views: 1,697
Posted By Fernias
Your dialogue is always great Max. Really casual...

Your dialogue is always great Max. Really casual and understated, and so very relatable/believable.

Having said that. I didn't buy some of the dialogue, and especially the last line, of this....
Forum: Poetry 07-29-2015, 01:33 AM
Replies: 50
Views: 3,398
Posted By Fernias
My membership is pretty new, but I've lurked here...

My membership is pretty new, but I've lurked here for a while, and it always baffles me why people stick up for idrew and her ruthlessly dismissive statements. I'm not against stating it how it is,...
Forum: Writers' Cafe 07-28-2015, 04:15 AM
Replies: 43
Views: 3,578
Posted By Fernias
"This will only hurt for a little while. I'll...

"This will only hurt for a little while. I'll only put the head of it in. I've had an operation so we're perfectly safe, and if you like it we can.do it again" (Kevin bloody Wilson song about the...
Forum: Free Writing 07-12-2015, 08:12 PM
Replies: 119
Views: 16,914
Posted By Fernias
[243] He who indulges too freely in 242 will...

[243] He who indulges too freely in 242 will truly find a foreign hand upon him when gangrene strips him of his arm while yet the fingers clutch his cock.
Forum: Writers' Cafe 07-12-2015, 05:28 PM
Replies: 43
Views: 3,699
Posted By Fernias
Took the wife to a disco on the weekend. There...

Took the wife to a disco on the weekend. There was a guy on the dance floor giving it everything he had; breakdancing, moonwalking, back flips, the works.

My wife turned to me and said, "...
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