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Search: Posts Made By: daes13
Forum: Writing Help & Issues 07-28-2016, 05:34 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 1,380
Posted By daes13
Punctuation always goes inside of quotes. I don't...

Punctuation always goes inside of quotes. I don't know if different dialects possess different rules, but standard English likes to keep the punctuation inside. There may be a couple exceptions but I...
Forum: Non-Fiction 07-28-2016, 04:13 AM
Replies: 11
Views: 1,860
Posted By daes13
There's an entire novel's worth of story you just...

There's an entire novel's worth of story you just summed up in those two paragraphs. It's your story, but if you were to write out the events as an actual story I would definitely read it. If you're...
Forum: Fiction 07-27-2016, 03:25 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 459
Posted By daes13
Chapter 1 (PG-13) word count: I'm not counting...

One of those days... fuck. Not sure if I slept wrong or if it was just male PMS. Whatever it may have been, I was a tiny turd rolling down a hill of shit. Building in momentum, growing massive with...
Forum: Fiction 07-23-2016, 07:55 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 742
Posted By daes13
The dialogue is good and quick, and I like the...

The dialogue is good and quick, and I like the dynamic set up. The little bit that's outside the dialogue seems a bit off, structure and syntax wise, to me. I would love to read this as a script. If...
Forum: Fiction 07-22-2016, 07:40 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 799
Posted By daes13
Drink a bottle of wine and put on a dress, that...

Drink a bottle of wine and put on a dress, that will help.

I understand the whole gender appropriation aspect when writing alternate genders, but she is your creation. You have already given her...
Forum: Fiction 07-22-2016, 05:56 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 799
Posted By daes13
I like this, the slow psychological reveal is...

I like this, the slow psychological reveal is nice. With that thought, have you considered writing this in first person? With that POV you could imbue a lot of emotion and really let the reader...
Forum: Fiction 07-19-2016, 05:54 AM
Replies: 10
Views: 884
Posted By daes13
All of it. Once you have the POV set you can just...

All of it. Once you have the POV set you can just let it happen. Instead of saying "I saw the man. His torn clothes..." Just let the description happen after the reader knows there is a man, "I saw...
Forum: Fiction 07-19-2016, 05:51 AM
Replies: 12
Views: 568
Posted By daes13
Throwing in a bunch of adjectives and adverbs...

Throwing in a bunch of adjectives and adverbs does add description, but it's superficial. I found the parts I actually wanted more description in lacking and the ones I wanted to skip verbose. Think...
Forum: Fiction 07-19-2016, 05:36 AM
Replies: 10
Views: 884
Posted By daes13
Humorous and nice. I would suggest cleaning this...

Humorous and nice. I would suggest cleaning this up with special attention to filtering. Removing the excess determiners, and plethora of pronouns in general, would give it a nice flow. Allowing the...
Forum: Fiction 06-06-2016, 07:26 PM
Replies: 18
Views: 1,671
Posted By daes13
This right here. The alliteration and assonance...

This right here. The alliteration and assonance is wonderful in this piece, but these two lines are extraordinary. It may be a bit over descriptive and filter in places, but with these two lines it...
Forum: Writers' Cafe 06-04-2016, 05:54 AM
Replies: 14
Views: 1,662
Posted By daes13
If somebody is not offended it's probably not...

If somebody is not offended it's probably not worth reading.
Forum: Fiction 06-03-2016, 08:31 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 726
Posted By daes13
Dialogue's a fascinating creature, especially in...

Dialogue's a fascinating creature, especially in prose. There's the whole disadvantage compared to Drama of not having speaker names, but implication can be an asset. Speech tags as well as action...
Forum: Fiction 06-02-2016, 05:25 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 839
Posted By daes13
Let's eat, Grandpa! Let's eat Grandpa! We...

Let's eat, Grandpa!
Let's eat Grandpa!

We are only a comma away from being cannibals.
Forum: Writers' Cafe 05-31-2016, 05:30 PM
Replies: 20
Views: 3,835
Posted By daes13
The prospect of a "Ghost Tat" is really cool. I'm...

The prospect of a "Ghost Tat" is really cool. I'm taking it! Thanks Max.
Forum: Writers' Cafe 05-29-2016, 10:24 AM
Replies: 20
Views: 3,835
Posted By daes13
I have two tattoos, right deltoid a shattered...

I have two tattoos, right deltoid a shattered cross with "nemo me impune lacessit" written around it, and lady's hands scraping down my shoulder blades leaving scratches. Point is, I probably...
Forum: Fiction 05-21-2016, 05:24 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 800
Posted By daes13
I'm not completely sure... But was his name Caius?

I'm not completely sure... But was his name Caius?
Forum: Fiction 05-21-2016, 05:22 AM
Replies: 1
Views: 500
Posted By daes13
You sure do love your prepositional phrases!

You sure do love your prepositional phrases!
Forum: Tips & Advice 05-12-2016, 05:32 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 1,584
Posted By daes13
Give us an example to chew up

Give us an example to chew up
Forum: Writers' Cafe 05-09-2016, 05:07 AM
Replies: 15
Views: 2,169
Posted By daes13
Hulu tells me it's on Showtime.

Hulu tells me it's on Showtime.
Forum: Writers' Cafe 05-07-2016, 05:34 AM
Replies: 15
Views: 2,169
Posted By daes13
I actually just saw the preview for this show,...

I actually just saw the preview for this show, and it does look decent. First, I thought you were advertising a new novel you finished Gaines.
Forum: Writing Help & Issues 05-07-2016, 05:33 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 1,486
Posted By daes13
A lot of people are just douchebags. I don't see...

A lot of people are just douchebags. I don't see the point in looking for reality in fiction... Kind of why they call it fiction. Some people are looking for something to say negative, and others are...
Forum: Writers' Cafe 05-05-2016, 08:03 AM
Replies: 15
Views: 2,169
Posted By daes13
If Abbot and Costello make an appearance, I'm...

If Abbot and Costello make an appearance, I'm going to lose my mind.
Forum: Tips & Advice 05-02-2016, 08:23 AM
Replies: 15
Views: 2,661
Posted By daes13
An eightball and two horny couples will teach you...

An eightball and two horny couples will teach you everything you need to know about romance.
Forum: Tips & Advice 05-01-2016, 07:10 AM
Replies: 15
Views: 2,661
Posted By daes13
This just seems wrong to me... The whole point of...

This just seems wrong to me... The whole point of experience is to experience as Pater said, that's why Wilde used those words to validate his "untidy life" as Elliot put it.

Instead of wanting...
Forum: Writers' Cafe 04-29-2016, 02:27 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 886
Posted By daes13
I think you're asking two different questions:...

I think you're asking two different questions: just because the POV is first person does not mean all the details will be given. In fact, that would destroy one of the pillars of Browning's dramatic...
Showing results 1 to 25 of 500

 

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