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Search: Posts Made By: Talkeetna
Forum: Fiction 05-22-2014, 11:25 AM
Replies: 34
Views: 2,229
Posted By Talkeetna
Perfect.

Perfect.
Forum: Fiction 05-22-2014, 11:21 AM
Replies: 10
Views: 1,044
Posted By Talkeetna
The squirrel throws me. The beauty of the words...

The squirrel throws me. The beauty of the words before that seems betrayed by it being a squirrel. Although, the idea itself isn't what I have issue with. Maybe a bird or something more 'serene' I...
Forum: The Library 05-22-2014, 11:11 AM
Replies: 134
Views: 27,148
Posted By Talkeetna
Frank McCourt. I've never had someone make me...

Frank McCourt.
I've never had someone make me feel like I was living the words quite as well as he.
Forum: Fiction 05-22-2014, 11:10 AM
Replies: 13
Views: 976
Posted By Talkeetna
OMG my skin is crawling.

OMG my skin is crawling.
Forum: Fiction 05-22-2014, 11:03 AM
Replies: 23
Views: 1,952
Posted By Talkeetna
I thought it was clear. I got what you were...

I thought it was clear. I got what you were trying to say and I feel her pain at the end.
Forum: Non-Fiction 11-27-2013, 06:10 AM
Replies: 9
Views: 938
Posted By Talkeetna
We threw rotten tangerines that had fallen on the...

We threw rotten tangerines that had fallen on the ground. Ruined our clothes. I got so many spankings because of those stupid tangerines!
Forum: Non-Fiction 11-27-2013, 04:12 AM
Replies: 11
Views: 1,449
Posted By Talkeetna
I'm almost finished with it now and I gotta say...

I'm almost finished with it now and I gotta say it's some strange form of therapy for sure.
Forum: Non-Fiction 11-20-2013, 12:54 PM
Replies: 11
Views: 1,449
Posted By Talkeetna
Thank you. It was rough for sure. It still is...

Thank you. It was rough for sure. It still is since now all those babies are teenagers!
Forum: Non-Fiction 11-15-2013, 11:55 AM
Replies: 11
Views: 1,449
Posted By Talkeetna
Thanks guys. Yeah it was rough. And you haven't...

Thanks guys. Yeah it was rough. And you haven't read he half of it. I'm obviously changing names (especially mine) but everything I'm putting in this book is true.
Forum: Non-Fiction 11-14-2013, 06:33 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 918
Posted By Talkeetna
I wish my true story was erotic :(

I wish my true story was erotic :(
Forum: Non-Fiction 11-14-2013, 06:22 AM
Replies: 10
Views: 2,404
Posted By Talkeetna
Who in the world eggs a kid? I'd have beat them...

Who in the world eggs a kid? I'd have beat them down too!
Forum: Non-Fiction 11-14-2013, 06:20 AM
Replies: 23
Views: 6,621
Posted By Talkeetna
I hate every one of those! Wow. I think my...

I hate every one of those! Wow.

I think my #1 worst is when someone wants to know about your book, and then AS YOU'RE TELLING THEM they interrupt you with 'better' ways to end it or how it...
Forum: Non-Fiction 11-14-2013, 06:15 AM
Replies: 23
Views: 2,557
Posted By Talkeetna
I did notice a couple errors, which have been...

I did notice a couple errors, which have been mentioned. But as a whole, I liked the piece. It's interesting to see it written from the child's point of view. So often we hear of these tales from the...
Forum: Non-Fiction 11-14-2013, 06:08 AM
Replies: 11
Views: 1,449
Posted By Talkeetna
How I Failed As A Single Mother

I turned 18 on October 4th, 1995. Three days later I peed on a stick and it turned pink. Rewind a couple hours from there and you'll see me in a Walgreen's stealing a pregnancy test and stuffing it...
Forum: Fiction 11-01-2013, 09:41 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 822
Posted By Talkeetna
Touching.

Touching.
Forum: Fiction 10-31-2013, 08:15 AM
Replies: 1
Views: 458
Posted By Talkeetna
I think it's hard to critique a letter because...

I think it's hard to critique a letter because it's essentially a monologue. And there can be spelling, grammar, or any other mistake in monologues/dialogues that would normally not be allowed....
Forum: Fiction 10-31-2013, 05:34 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 653
Posted By Talkeetna
I noticed the passive voice too. But I didn't...

I noticed the passive voice too. But I didn't care. I felt immediately drawn in and wanted to know why the He** he was smiling! What's on that piece of paper?
Forum: Members' Feedback 10-25-2013, 12:45 PM
Replies: 157
Views: 14,055
Posted By Talkeetna
I think the site has a good start by requiring a...

I think the site has a good start by requiring a certain # of posts before different aspects are open to newcomers. I think that will weed some people out.
Forum: Fiction 10-25-2013, 12:22 PM
Replies: 21
Views: 1,712
Posted By Talkeetna
Well, I took out the blurb because people said it...

Well, I took out the blurb because people said it ruined what they were reading to know how it ends.
It's being told by a teenage boy. I still have a lot of work to do, but I think if I pull off...
Forum: Fiction 10-25-2013, 12:17 PM
Replies: 21
Views: 1,712
Posted By Talkeetna
I'll print this out and look at it. I meant to...

I'll print this out and look at it.
I meant to make it seem unattached at first because I'm not divulging the fact that it's the father. But maybe I'll work on the delivery.
Yeah, I go back and...
Forum: Fiction 10-25-2013, 04:05 AM
Replies: 21
Views: 1,712
Posted By Talkeetna
I removed the explanation in the reply post.

I removed the explanation in the reply post.
Forum: Fiction 10-24-2013, 11:52 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 1,181
Posted By Talkeetna
Actually I see the way it flows better now. When...

Actually I see the way it flows better now. When I read it the first time, the part where he says "Why you ask" didn't seem like dialogue for some reason.

"Arms becoming wild with the cadence of...
Forum: Fiction 10-24-2013, 11:11 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 679
Posted By Talkeetna
Ok then

A loud crack resonated through the air as the wooden bat came into contact with (passive verb) the ball. Everyone’s eyes were locked onto the ball as it flew across the sky and broke threw (through)...
Forum: Fiction 10-24-2013, 10:41 AM
Replies: 21
Views: 1,712
Posted By Talkeetna
Thanks! I'll look at the cliche sections. I had...

Thanks! I'll look at the cliche sections. I had the same feeling as I finished the chapter, so I'm definitely revising some of the stuff.

The part about the man's fingers 'feeling' the table -- I...
Forum: Fiction 10-24-2013, 10:36 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 881
Posted By Talkeetna
I do like some the imagery, though. I didn't put...

I do like some the imagery, though. I didn't put that in my last post.

The use of 'fluid' to describe his movement. Easy to picture. I'd go with that and expand on those sorts of descriptions.
Showing results 1 to 25 of 63

 

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