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Search: Posts Made By: daes13
Forum: Fiction 04-13-2018, 06:41 AM
Replies: 15
Views: 1,101
Posted By daes13
I drunkenly stole it from my girl hahaha

I drunkenly stole it from my girl hahaha
Forum: Poetry 04-09-2018, 01:07 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 420
Posted By daes13
This kind of poetry is over my head, but I will...

This kind of poetry is over my head, but I will say the rhyme works well. It was almost subtle and I liked that. Anything further you need a real poet good friend
Forum: Poetry 04-09-2018, 06:58 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 434
Posted By daes13
Oh most definitely. I enjoy making things...

Oh most definitely. I enjoy making things according to structure as well. I've just seen so few people able to break the syllable and still keep it a haiku you know. Figured you guys may enjoy
Forum: Poetry 04-08-2018, 03:33 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 434
Posted By daes13
Listen to Kerouacs Blues and Haikus, he can show...

Listen to Kerouacs Blues and Haikus, he can show how to break the syllable form while still adhering to the nature form
Forum: Fiction 04-08-2018, 03:07 PM
Replies: 15
Views: 1,101
Posted By daes13
Fuck me but I was drunk there.... As opposed to...

Fuck me but I was drunk there.... As opposed to my normal sober self hahaha
Forum: Fiction 04-08-2018, 03:46 AM
Replies: 22
Views: 968
Posted By daes13
Only if he's just a plumber. Here, no one is ever...

Only if he's just a plumber. Here, no one is ever one thing, were all jacks. But I see your point
Forum: Poetry 04-07-2018, 02:13 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 393
Posted By daes13
I like the inscape of the poems. Just the...

I like the inscape of the poems. Just the execution is a little orthodox for me. First poem I would say enjambment and near rhymes are your friends. The others, I would say stop trying to write a...
Forum: Fiction 04-07-2018, 12:58 PM
Replies: 22
Views: 968
Posted By daes13
It was early morning and, as dawn sun lurked...

It was early morning and, as dawn sun lurked between pitched roofs there was no hint of what the day would bring. Rob Horan drove down the street, stopped his van and pipped the horn. He kept the...
Forum: Poetry 04-03-2018, 02:21 PM
Replies: 11
Views: 392
Posted By daes13
Let the tears fall and tell us what its really...

Let the tears fall and tell us what its really like to,lose ones live friend. That's what we want
Forum: Fiction 04-03-2018, 02:20 PM
Replies: 22
Views: 968
Posted By daes13
I did intend pacing... Its more than pacing. I've...

I did intend pacing... Its more than pacing. I've seen your soul, I hate the word style so lets use soul, and this lacks a soul. A narrator soul, a character soul etc.
Forum: Free Writing 04-03-2018, 11:26 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 499
Posted By daes13
Lucy you,got some splaining to,do... A...

Lucy you,got some splaining to,do...

A little more,detail to,the why may be nic3. You're writing for an,audience not a,few
Forum: Non-Fiction 04-03-2018, 11:23 AM
Replies: 9
Views: 1,291
Posted By daes13
Okay... Maybe I was a bit too serious amidst my...

Okay... Maybe I was a bit too serious amidst my drunkenness to appreciatie this. But I had to say what I did. Don't judg3 me
Forum: Fiction 04-03-2018, 09:35 AM
Replies: 22
Views: 968
Posted By daes13
Its in a British dialect so I don't wanna sully...

Its in a British dialect so I don't wanna sully it. Paving means more than punctuation. I've seen your work. And this seems like a first draft. Rewrite and be the character
Forum: Poetry 04-03-2018, 09:33 AM
Replies: 11
Views: 392
Posted By daes13
Get back to that first heartbreak, get back to...

Get back to that first heartbreak, get back to that emotion, bleed and cry on the page for us, we shall not judge. Only the writing. I feel like you're too distant cause I know your work and it has...
Forum: Writers' Cafe 04-02-2018, 03:58 PM
Replies: 46
Views: 1,758
Posted By daes13
Well my 58 score sure helps me feel,better about...

Well my 58 score sure helps me feel,better about my writing.

I have 130, people just don't understand me.

Mines 110 why aren't I,making,more money.

Meanwhile there's a chimp in Bolivia...
Forum: Fiction 04-02-2018, 03:51 PM
Replies: 22
Views: 968
Posted By daes13
Pacing. This piece is in deep need of pacing....

Pacing. This piece is in deep need of pacing. Other than that good stuff
Forum: Non-Fiction 04-02-2018, 03:47 PM
Replies: 9
Views: 1,291
Posted By daes13
Bukowski himself said, "if you're trying to write...

Bukowski himself said, "if you're trying to write like someone else, forget it," and I know you would never write like anyone but Nick. Yeah, you may be influenced. But before Coleridge it was all...
Forum: Poetry 04-02-2018, 03:40 PM
Replies: 11
Views: 392
Posted By daes13
Too Victorian for me my friend. Or I guess a bit...

Too Victorian for me my friend. Or I guess a bit emo. Where's the organs? Where's the bleeding heart and gushing carotid? That's my two cents
Forum: Writers' Cafe 03-31-2018, 01:08 PM
Replies: 46
Views: 1,758
Posted By daes13
Theres also the bell,curve effect of how,much I...

Theres also the bell,curve effect of how,much I drink, I get smarter, then exponentially dumber, but better at driving. Only hit two kids this week
Forum: Writers' Cafe 03-31-2018, 09:24 AM
Replies: 46
Views: 1,758
Posted By daes13
Shit man, I'd say at least 350.

Shit man, I'd say at least 350.
Forum: Writers' Cafe 03-31-2018, 09:05 AM
Replies: 46
Views: 1,758
Posted By daes13
Yeah the test is bogus Its math oriented....

Yeah the test is bogus

Its math oriented. And yes I know cause the score I got was way over my actual number, I'm just good with math and numbers
Forum: Writers' Cafe 03-31-2018, 08:46 AM
Replies: 46
Views: 1,758
Posted By daes13
Ain't no writer but guarantee I can get under a...

Ain't no writer but guarantee I can get under a 37 no sweat
Forum: Lyrics 03-31-2018, 07:53 AM
Replies: 30
Views: 1,378
Posted By daes13
Yes! I'm a sucker for harmonica. Good shit man

Yes! I'm a sucker for harmonica. Good shit man
Forum: Non-Fiction 03-29-2018, 04:51 PM
Replies: 29
Views: 778
Posted By daes13
I always drink.., what the fuck does "moderatel"...

I always drink.., what the fuck does "moderatel" mean?
Forum: Non-Fiction 03-29-2018, 11:31 AM
Replies: 29
Views: 778
Posted By daes13
Good. Chew a few and sip a beer

Good. Chew a few and sip a beer
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