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Forum: Poetry 12-16-2016, 02:26 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 1,593
Posted By juicyfruit
Witty! All the dos and don'ts of poetry can...

Witty! All the dos and don'ts of poetry can definitely stiffle creativity! I like your simplified take on it!
Forum: Poetry 12-13-2016, 05:12 AM
Replies: 1
Views: 1,016
Posted By juicyfruit
Liquid Remedies

Heís in a lightless corner, curled up tight
On a flattened box tucked out of sight
He numbs the pain that no one sees
With magic liquid remedies

The pulp-pad beneath him is a cotton-candy cloud...
Forum: Free Writing 08-11-2016, 11:31 AM
Replies: 1
Views: 615
Posted By juicyfruit
Graffiti love

In a concrete jungle, graffiti reflects a particular beauty and strength found only in a rebel heart. To fully appreciate graffiti, you need to acknowledge and be-friend yours.
Forum: Poetry 06-25-2016, 12:26 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 586
Posted By juicyfruit
Silence

I wish to hush the complaining winds in the trees that loom around me.
Silence their forewarning howls.
Quiet the sound of their alarm.
Mute their eerie, high-pitched hisses,
like those that...
Forum: Poetry 06-25-2016, 11:16 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 845
Posted By juicyfruit
I wonder if it would be better without the last...

I wonder if it would be better without the last two stanzas. You think?
Forum: Poetry 06-17-2016, 06:47 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 845
Posted By juicyfruit
Daddy's Little Girl

Daddy’s Little Girl

You’re a broken toy,
unfit for play. Not out of mind,
just stored away.
It’s not your fault you’re faulty.
I’m still Daddy’s little girl.

Your broken bits were just so...
Forum: Poetry 12-13-2015, 05:55 AM
Replies: 15
Views: 1,180
Posted By juicyfruit
I like this version: When I remove the anvil...

I like this version:

When I remove the anvil
that crushed my whole heart flat,
I'll fashion from it wings
and fly above the peril.

I will stay where weight is not.
I'll live a life that's...
Forum: Poetry 12-12-2015, 12:54 PM
Replies: 15
Views: 1,180
Posted By juicyfruit
I've rewritten it. I'd love to know your...

I've rewritten it. I'd love to know your thoughts.
Forum: Poetry 12-05-2015, 04:40 PM
Replies: 15
Views: 1,180
Posted By juicyfruit
Well then! I suppose I shall rewrite it! Thanks...

Well then! I suppose I shall rewrite it! Thanks for the confidence boost, Lon Palmer and Kev!
Forum: Poetry 12-03-2015, 10:37 AM
Replies: 15
Views: 1,180
Posted By juicyfruit
Thanks for the feedback everyone! I think this...

Thanks for the feedback everyone! I think this poem is one I shall put to rest. It was a flop. I got the feeling out, which makes it successful. I also learned to pay closer attention to make...
Forum: Poetry 11-28-2015, 04:32 AM
Replies: 15
Views: 1,180
Posted By juicyfruit
I saw the heart like a tomato, but maybe that...

I saw the heart like a tomato, but maybe that only makes sense in my mind. There'd be pulp and juices remaining...something to work with at least. I'd make something out of the destruction left...
Forum: Poetry 11-28-2015, 02:34 AM
Replies: 25
Views: 1,557
Posted By juicyfruit
Putting away the cutlery is a mundane task...

Putting away the cutlery is a mundane task during which someone may be prone to dwelling on negative thoughts. Is it someone putting the spoons back in the drawer and each time a spoon goes in...
Forum: Poetry 11-28-2015, 02:25 AM
Replies: 15
Views: 1,180
Posted By juicyfruit
Changing My Perspective (Rewritten)

When I remove the anvil
that crushed my whole heart flat,
I'll fashion from it wings
and fly above the peril.

I will stay where weight is not.
I'll live a life that's never fraught
with dread...
Forum: Poetry 11-17-2015, 04:24 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 571
Posted By juicyfruit
I agree with Nacia on the second stanza. It was...

I agree with Nacia on the second stanza. It was my favourite part.
Forum: Poetry 07-08-2015, 04:51 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 1,011
Posted By juicyfruit
Didn't you mean than? I like the message...

Didn't you mean than?

I like the message behind your poem.
Forum: Poetry 07-02-2015, 01:00 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 557
Posted By juicyfruit
Thanks for the suggestions, JoeMatt. I've...

Thanks for the suggestions, JoeMatt. I've applied them and agree it 's better. :)
Forum: Poetry 07-02-2015, 05:57 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 557
Posted By juicyfruit
The Corporate Woman

The Corporate Woman

Like gavels pounding
judgement into concrete,
her high heels pronounce me unworthy;
each sound ricochets off the walls of my self-image,
and my walls are paper thin,
so...
Forum: Poetry 05-30-2015, 02:02 AM
Replies: 50
Views: 3,334
Posted By juicyfruit
Is this about loving or being obsessed with...

Is this about loving or being obsessed with someone who only ever brings you pain? I was also thinking it could be about having lost a significant other to death and the pain in moving on without...
Forum: Poetry 05-21-2015, 01:52 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 506
Posted By juicyfruit
About My Untold Story

I donít read much.
My best friend does.
She likes my story line
because
she says itís all the buzz with
teens;
fantasy and steampunk scenes.
Wings, an everpresent theme.
Magic only I have...
Forum: Poetry 05-15-2015, 04:48 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 580
Posted By juicyfruit
Week's End

Iím going to bury my
head in the sand and
hope my ears plug up
Ďtil I can no longer hear the
wailing howl of this weekís
slow and painful death.
And when next week arises,
and promises to...
Forum: Poetry 03-11-2015, 02:01 AM
Replies: 23
Views: 2,024
Posted By juicyfruit
I suppose I should have read more closely before...

I suppose I should have read more closely before commenting. Yikes! My comment was more of an afterthought.

I really enjoy:
...conveying our vulnerability.

and your:
...conveying our...
Forum: Poetry 03-07-2015, 08:50 AM
Replies: 23
Views: 2,024
Posted By juicyfruit
I enjoyed this piece and found the message to be...

I enjoyed this piece and found the message to be clear. I can relate and agree with the general idea. Although I think there's more to hatred than environment and nutrition, your poem makes me...
Forum: Poetry 03-07-2015, 08:38 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 801
Posted By juicyfruit
Nacia, I had posted symbols in the poem and then...

Nacia, I had posted symbols in the poem and then I later decided to erase my blurb about it. Feels strange telling people what I see or what to look for in my own poetry. I'll leave it up for...
Forum: Poetry 02-25-2015, 01:41 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 801
Posted By juicyfruit
I like when I write something and then see tons...

I like when I write something and then see tons of symbolism each time I read it. It's kind of like it takes on it's own life...speaking to me, even though they were initially my words.
Forum: Poetry 02-25-2015, 01:34 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 801
Posted By juicyfruit
Thank you Nacia! Did you understand what I meant...

Thank you Nacia! Did you understand what I meant by the weightless waltz? I've been wanting to use the word mimosa as the color of the sky for a while now and I've played with it in other poems...
Showing results 1 to 25 of 164

 

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