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Forum: Introductions 10-03-2017, 11:19 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 268
Posted By JP_Inkswell
The Deranged Fan Fiction Writer's Association...

The Deranged Fan Fiction Writer's Association just won't be the same without you. ( Captain Proton told me to say that. )
Forum: Poetry 10-02-2017, 04:53 AM
Replies: 9
Views: 309
Posted By JP_Inkswell
Probably I am stating my own preference for...

Probably I am stating my own preference for poetry with more action in it. I have poems like this in that they are a snapshot or still life that speak to a single thought or emotion. I also have a...
Forum: Poetry 09-27-2017, 06:07 AM
Replies: 9
Views: 309
Posted By JP_Inkswell
I was rolling on the floor laughing at the first...

I was rolling on the floor laughing at the first line, and crying at the last. It works, though had I written it I would have used some stronger metaphor. ( The D & D veteran in me says: You put in a...
Forum: Introductions 09-25-2017, 06:27 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 258
Posted By JP_Inkswell
I'm thinking Myakka City is in either North...

I'm thinking Myakka City is in either North Dakota, or North Vietnam?
Forum: Writing Help & Issues 09-25-2017, 06:17 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 1,749
Posted By JP_Inkswell
If consistency were a consistent characteristic...

If consistency were a consistent characteristic of human behavior none of us would actually be human. We'd all have pointy ears and upswept eyebrows and be able to beat everyone at chess, except...
Forum: Free Writing 09-18-2017, 10:37 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 649
Posted By JP_Inkswell
Brian, have you never wondered what the tooth...

Brian, have you never wondered what the tooth fairy does with all those teeth? Perhaps Beef with tell us the rest of the story.
Forum: Free Writing 09-18-2017, 10:28 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 446
Posted By JP_Inkswell
Cool yeah, until you look down and see how high...

Cool yeah, until you look down and see how high you really are.
Forum: Poetry 09-18-2017, 10:09 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 527
Posted By JP_Inkswell
It needs more imagery. ( We live in an unsubtle...

It needs more imagery. ( We live in an unsubtle age. )
Forum: Introductions 08-09-2017, 05:42 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 706
Posted By JP_Inkswell
You want truth and a good family? You don't ask...

You want truth and a good family? You don't ask for much do you? Truth be like whisky. It takes a lot of effort to distill it from the makings, then it looks, smells and tastes wonderful going down,...
Forum: Writers' Cafe 07-21-2017, 03:22 AM
Replies: 49
Views: 1,389
Posted By JP_Inkswell
Any tenderfoot can shoot through an open window....

Any tenderfoot can shoot through an open window. That doesn't take any skill at all.
Forum: Poetry 07-21-2017, 03:15 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 257
Posted By JP_Inkswell
It's a snapshot. A still from the reel. It's...

It's a snapshot. A still from the reel. It's evocative. Is it a poem? Is one scene a story? As you say, it is what it is. It's like a bullet in mid air. It's all power and purpose, but the story is...
Forum: Poetry 07-21-2017, 03:00 AM
Replies: 11
Views: 404
Posted By JP_Inkswell
Writers who use their right hand for what...

Writers who use their right hand for what exactly? I mean with the exception of writing, I do just about everything with my left that I do with my right.

Honor and livelihood are both slippery...
Forum: Poetry 07-21-2017, 02:44 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 355
Posted By JP_Inkswell
I may have formerly been talented. I think you...

I may have formerly been talented. I think you need some rhythm to go with the rhyme. it's kind of like milk chocolate. One ingredient without the other doesn't give a clue. And don't get involved...
Forum: Poetry 07-16-2017, 05:29 PM
Replies: 10
Views: 925
Posted By JP_Inkswell
Ernest Hemingway could write masterfully while...

Ernest Hemingway could write masterfully while plastered at a Tiki bar. As for the rest of us, I am less certain.
Forum: The Intellectual Table 07-06-2017, 11:59 AM
Replies: 24
Views: 870
Posted By JP_Inkswell
I'm still hoping for those mildew prevention...

I'm still hoping for those mildew prevention tips. The robot that cooks and cleans at my house seems weak in that area. Come to think of it it's not so hot at cooking and cleaning either. C'mon you...
Forum: Tips & Advice 07-05-2017, 11:34 AM
Replies: 11
Views: 1,144
Posted By JP_Inkswell
Well you need to know your audience. Tacky and...

Well you need to know your audience. Tacky and sensationalist sells, and it probably always will.
Forum: Non-Fiction 07-05-2017, 11:22 AM
Replies: 9
Views: 831
Posted By JP_Inkswell
Sling shot stuff...start...sad slide...slothlike...

Sling shot stuff...start...sad slide...slothlike style.

You see boys and girls alliteration is a almost martial art. It's like recoil. Once you start you just want to keep doing it, and doing...
Forum: Poetry 06-30-2017, 06:20 AM
Replies: 35
Views: 1,202
Posted By JP_Inkswell
Both the imagery and the rhyme work in ways...

Both the imagery and the rhyme
work in ways sublime.

Like a painting of a boat,
poised upon an ocean,
every time you look at it
you can feel the world in motion.
Forum: Tips & Advice 06-21-2017, 08:52 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 419
Posted By JP_Inkswell
Brian Brian Brian, surely you do want all the...

Brian Brian Brian, surely you do want all the things we know about you to be posted on this site? I mean what about that time you spoke to that Russian person hmmmm?
Forum: Fiction 06-21-2017, 08:45 AM
Replies: 25
Views: 1,155
Posted By JP_Inkswell
Yayah. Who needs cable when you can click on...

Yayah. Who needs cable when you can click on YouTube and watch the Russians driving drunk.
Forum: Members' Feedback 06-21-2017, 08:35 AM
Replies: 103
Views: 4,095
Posted By JP_Inkswell
Our website, who art in the cloud, virtual be thy...

Our website, who art in the cloud, virtual be thy name.
Your server come, your program be done
on Earth as it is in the cloud.

Give is this day our daily cookies, and forgive our hacks
as we...
Forum: Writers' Cafe 06-20-2017, 12:08 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 716
Posted By JP_Inkswell
Holy Highwaymen Batman! Actually I think...

Holy Highwaymen Batman!

Actually I think The King's Highway isn't bad at all, but maybe it could use a bit more zing.

The King's Highway Men. It's grammatically correct but perhaps a bit...
Forum: Poetry 06-15-2017, 07:08 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 697
Posted By JP_Inkswell
Yo Yo babies jump and squaw fiddle up the dry...

Yo Yo babies jump and squaw
fiddle up the dry creek draw
spin your partner doh see doh
down the river we will go.

I hear banjos...
Forum: Writing Help & Issues 06-14-2017, 07:23 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 1,697
Posted By JP_Inkswell
A description of the moons and planets may be an...

A description of the moons and planets may be an important part of the backstory, but I would not start the story with it. Unless your readers are closet astronomers you will put them to sleep.

...
Forum: Writing Help & Issues 06-14-2017, 07:14 AM
Replies: 11
Views: 950
Posted By JP_Inkswell
Dwayne, I think you need a character sketch or...

Dwayne, I think you need a character sketch or outline. What you have here reads like a plot which has many elements that could bring out the inner strengths and weaknesses of your character. Now you...
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