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Search: Posts Made By: iDrew
Forum: Poetry 10-08-2017, 02:03 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 340
Posted By iDrew
Based loosely on a sort of real event but I...

Based loosely on a sort of real event but I always try and inject some humour into my work.

As a style choice I never punctuate or capitalise.

Big thanks.


xDrew
Forum: Poetry 09-09-2017, 03:02 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 340
Posted By iDrew
iDepervert

iDepervert

east enders is on the telly and
phil mitchell is shouting at
someone iím on my lappy watching
kittens and gemma is sitting with
her boyfriend jed thereís
a tumbleweed wall...
Forum: Writers' Cafe 09-06-2017, 03:01 PM
Replies: 9,062
Views: 244,129
Posted By iDrew
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTLTXDHrgtw ...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTLTXDHrgtw


xDrew
Forum: Poetry 09-06-2017, 02:59 PM
Replies: 31
Views: 691
Posted By iDrew
Hun, humour me. Experiment by writing it in 1st...

Hun, humour me. Experiment by writing it in 1st person or even a combination of 1st and 3rd. In my opinion you have a distance that possibly you want the concept to posses, but it feels like a...
Forum: Poetry 09-04-2017, 03:50 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 316
Posted By iDrew
Lush I do agree with Grace about the ending....

Lush

I do agree with Grace about the ending.



xDrew
Forum: Poetry 09-04-2017, 03:48 PM
Replies: 10
Views: 477
Posted By iDrew
Three lined stanzas are hard to pull off. You...

Three lined stanzas are hard to pull off. You really should be looking to use enjambment between the stanzas which also means you can stretch the lines longer.

Questions weaken the piece where you...
Forum: Poetry 09-04-2017, 03:41 PM
Replies: 31
Views: 691
Posted By iDrew
However well drawn the scene maybe I’m not really...

However well drawn the scene maybe I’m not really feeling it, but why that is I’m not too sure. Possibly the scene is too general and almost fleeting as if the reader is just walking through. I feel...
Forum: Poetry 09-04-2017, 03:38 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 1,238
Posted By iDrew
This fascinates me reading this seems so exotic,...

This fascinates me reading this seems so exotic, a million miles from dirty East London streets. You’ve won that battle, I’m on the plains sitting in a wigwam. To my interpretation I have to wonder...
Forum: Poetry 08-23-2017, 02:42 PM
Replies: 9
Views: 544
Posted By iDrew
I’m an all or nothing girl and I feel you could...

I’m an all or nothing girl and I feel you could give this piece a lot more purpose if it was fully punctuated and use colons and semi colons to give an extra level of justification to the drama, an...
Forum: Poetry 08-23-2017, 02:38 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 335
Posted By iDrew
Unlike Brian I like S1 but Like Grace I think you...

Unlike Brian I like S1 but Like Grace I think you need to find a way to express yer ideas in less words by using more surgical phrases and poetry. There are some good images and lines in here yet...
Forum: Poetry 08-19-2017, 08:13 AM
Replies: 9
Views: 653
Posted By iDrew
Grace this is cool. Not a fan of formatted rhyme...

Grace this is cool. Not a fan of formatted rhyme but you seemed to have worked this well. I've not done a syllable check as it flows along well with a nice little rhythm, and yes, if I was to dig...
Forum: Poetry 08-19-2017, 08:12 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 347
Posted By iDrew
No comment. xDrew

No comment.



xDrew
Forum: Poetry 08-18-2017, 05:30 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 347
Posted By iDrew
I was enjoying reading this up to the fourth or...

I was enjoying reading this up to the fourth or fifth line in stanza two and then it just went all blah …

Let’s get the little nit picks out the way first: I can understand why you’ve emboldened...
Forum: Writers' Cafe 08-15-2017, 04:37 PM
Replies: 9,062
Views: 244,129
Posted By iDrew
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=it6esju-_X0 ...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=it6esju-_X0



xDrew
Forum: Writers' Cafe 08-15-2017, 02:30 PM
Replies: 9,062
Views: 244,129
Posted By iDrew
Lots of Essex love there Grace. Bad Manners...

Lots of Essex love there Grace.

Bad Manners with what looks like Southend pier.

Depeche Mode from Basildon

Another Grimes tune

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JtH68PJIQLE
Forum: Poetry 08-14-2017, 05:52 AM
Replies: 9
Views: 613
Posted By iDrew
Suppose I do, in a way, by not allowing myself to...

Suppose I do, in a way, by not allowing myself to use punctuation. Although it's not too uncommon these days it does present a different set of skills from the traditional restrictions with regards...
Forum: Writers' Cafe 08-13-2017, 03:13 PM
Replies: 9,062
Views: 244,129
Posted By iDrew
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xgl9gee7KY ...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xgl9gee7KY




xDrew
Forum: Poetry 08-13-2017, 03:11 PM
Replies: 9
Views: 613
Posted By iDrew
We’ll have to disagree on that point honey. I see...

We’ll have to disagree on that point honey. I see no value in using pre 19c language in the 21c. Far too many writers use archaic terms because of the way they are taught poetry in school and...
Forum: Writers' Cafe 08-11-2017, 01:46 PM
Replies: 98
Views: 2,552
Posted By iDrew
Who? only joking Nick

Who?








only joking Nick
Forum: Poetry 08-11-2017, 01:44 PM
Replies: 9
Views: 613
Posted By iDrew
‘tis’ ‘it is’ or ‘it's’ xDrew

‘tis’

‘it is’ or ‘it's’


xDrew
Forum: Poetry 08-09-2017, 02:35 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 572
Posted By iDrew
My fav jacket is one of me brothers old biker...

My fav jacket is one of me brothers old biker leather that got too small for him.

What's yer fav tool? Mines those little battery screwdriver. Like the little weeeeeee sound they make.



xDrew
Forum: Poetry 08-09-2017, 02:29 PM
Replies: 11
Views: 688
Posted By iDrew
This could be very lush indeed – a few...

This could be very lush indeed – a few observations.

The enjambment in Stanza1 is good but I feel you’re missing a trick

when we first met
I was a mess, ears
blocked by silence, eyes
and...
Forum: Poetry 08-09-2017, 02:27 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 371
Posted By iDrew
I’ve said what needs be said about your...

I’ve said what needs be said about your punctuation and dash fetish.

Monsters are real though
so are the ghosts

Don’t know what hellcons are, and I’m not sure about writers.

The repeat of...
Forum: Poetry 08-09-2017, 02:26 PM
Replies: 9
Views: 613
Posted By iDrew
Usually read loads but not this year for some...

Usually read loads but not this year for some reason.


xDrew
Forum: Writers' Cafe 08-03-2017, 02:45 PM
Replies: 9,062
Views: 244,129
Posted By iDrew
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9QGpHScGug ...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9QGpHScGug



xDrew
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