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Search: Posts Made By: norvbrooks
Forum: Previous Contests 12-16-2012, 09:10 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 3,716
Posted By norvbrooks
Icon7 In The Mirror

Agatha Criste - I enjoyed your poem Imagination.
Forum: Previous Contests 10-02-2012, 10:18 PM
Replies: 9
Views: 4,497
Posted By norvbrooks
Icon6 Congrats

I echo the others' congratulations!
Forum: Previous Contests 09-05-2012, 09:53 PM
Replies: 11
Views: 4,459
Posted By norvbrooks
Icon6 Message in a Bottle (Prose) - Kensington Vault

I really enjoyed reading this. It kept me hooked racing to the conclusion. I think I got the message within the story. Well written.
Forum: Fiction 09-04-2012, 01:44 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 618
Posted By norvbrooks
Icon6 Death of Miss Wetherby

I found the synopsis very intriguing. I feel a little like a student that read the synopsis for a book report rather than the book itself. Does the fact that you have a word count mean you have...
Forum: Previous Contests 08-22-2012, 07:40 AM
Replies: 11
Views: 4,459
Posted By norvbrooks
Icon6 Autumn Contest (Poetry) – Message in a Bottle - MAROONED

Agatha - I liked the flow of your poem - it read very well. With all the dark writings which seems to be popular, I found your story line refreshing.
Forum: Fiction 08-20-2012, 07:49 AM
Replies: 11
Views: 815
Posted By norvbrooks
Icon6 bmj851 - The Ferriers

Well written - your word pictures are very effective.
I do find the use of the name "Charlie" a bit of a distraction. You definitely give clues that you're main character is female; however, since...
Forum: Previous Contests 08-18-2012, 09:18 PM
Replies: 11
Views: 4,459
Posted By norvbrooks
Icon6 Autumn Word Vault(WBQ35) - The Musician

Nice little story using all 5 Vault words - well done.
Forum: Fiction 08-15-2012, 09:11 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 692
Posted By norvbrooks
Icon6 Response to Fictiion - Jack

Very nicely written - I thought the suspense built nicely. The following left me with the question as to what did it mean?


How did the roll over ads get into the piece?
Forum: Previous Contests 08-14-2012, 05:21 PM
Replies: 11
Views: 4,459
Posted By norvbrooks
Icon6 Autumn Contest (Prose) – Message in a Bottle

Quetzalcoatl - yes, I did read the poem but not until I re-read the prose. I thought that was a clever linking of the two entries. I got the impression from the poem that he did end his life before...
Forum: Previous Contests 08-14-2012, 02:30 PM
Replies: 11
Views: 4,459
Posted By norvbrooks
Icon6 Autumn Contest (Prose) – Message in a Bottle

It seems that the theme "Message in a Bottle" - Prose - has inspired nautical storylines in the entries so far. I guess that was to be expected.

Quetzalcoatl - your excerpt from the log of Belle...
Forum: Fiction 08-09-2012, 02:17 PM
Replies: 10
Views: 978
Posted By norvbrooks
Icon6 Hood Found Slain in Car

Like the others, I enjoyed your writing style and the story. I did have the following observation:

I found this a little confusing that you said "sped past me. ...to see who was driving so...
Forum: Previous Contests 08-08-2012, 09:49 AM
Replies: 11
Views: 5,464
Posted By norvbrooks
Icon6 Autumn Contest (Poetry) – Message in a Bottle - Life

The gasp for air
Life emits a cry
Did it choose the time
Or select the where

Better is our death
Not that of birth
Those are words of a king
Better is our last breath
Forum: Previous Contests 08-07-2012, 03:41 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 8,952
Posted By norvbrooks
Icon6 Autumn word vault wbq35 – india

The ayah, sent to England to accompany young Jonathan to Bombay, pointed to an officer in fallal with his hands behind his back “That is your father.” Jonathan had not seen his father for years. Army...
Forum: Previous Contests 08-06-2012, 04:35 PM
Replies: 10
Views: 5,960
Posted By norvbrooks
Icon6 Message in a Bottle - Jean Lafitte

Jean Lafitte stood on the quarterdeck near the helmsman looking off to the distant skyline. He looked to his first mate as he gave the order to batten down the hatches and prepare for a storm....
Forum: Fiction 07-30-2012, 08:30 AM
Replies: 13
Views: 1,233
Posted By norvbrooks
Icon6 Bicycling Fish

I like the rewrites! Keep up the good work.
Forum: Fiction 07-20-2012, 08:13 AM
Replies: 10
Views: 788
Posted By norvbrooks
I understand your concern about posting the...

I understand your concern about posting the complete novel in segments. Having posted my complete novella "Dewey Connection" in segments, I felt that the overall length discouraged the total number...
Forum: Fiction 07-20-2012, 08:04 AM
Replies: 13
Views: 1,233
Posted By norvbrooks
Icon6 Bicycling Fish

Intriguing!

How would I know how it happened? I know I have an adult inquiring mind, but I think even a child would like to know why and how he turned into a fish. Also, you set the reader up...
Forum: Fiction 07-19-2012, 10:29 PM
Replies: 10
Views: 788
Posted By norvbrooks
Icon6 Innocent Murder

Agatha - where does this chapter fit in with the part about the Bed and Breakfast in the Lake District? As usual, interesting read.
Forum: Fiction 07-13-2012, 02:36 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 481
Posted By norvbrooks
Icon6 The Turtle (1829 words)

THE TURTLE

The first quarter moon slipped behind a cloud creating a silver lining. As the cloud crept over the moon, the light upon the water surrounding him got dimmer. That would be a blessing...
Forum: Fiction 07-13-2012, 08:17 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 479
Posted By norvbrooks
Icon6 Points of View

Ethan - to address your question as to is it worth developing the story depends a lot upon how you feel about the story. It's not particularly a new plot nor twist in story, but that does not mean it...
Forum: Fiction 07-09-2012, 07:28 AM
Replies: 9
Views: 831
Posted By norvbrooks
Icon6 A Lesson On Pain

Nicely done. The following was a little awkward:

Would this be better? "But, now the agony did not seem so overwhelming."
Forum: Fiction 07-04-2012, 11:05 PM
Replies: 14
Views: 1,285
Posted By norvbrooks
Icon6 Of Manhattan and Men

I think Rooster must have been looking for an action story and missed the human story. I saw a story about a Manhattan girl that has a pretty routine life and saw a chance to have an adventure to...
Forum: Fiction 07-04-2012, 09:53 AM
Replies: 14
Views: 1,285
Posted By norvbrooks
Icon6 Of Manhattan and Men

Yeah! Anderson Cooper coming out of the closet was a bummer! I still like his TV personna. I enjoyed your piece. Your writing indicates an intimate knowledge of Manhattan - a resident, I'm guessing....
Forum: Fiction 06-29-2012, 07:50 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 765
Posted By norvbrooks
Icon6 Comments on Ship of Spiders

An interesting storyline. I feel that there's to much dialogue and not enough descriptive writing to immerse your reader.

If I'm following your story properly, these cargo containers are the...
Forum: Previous Contests 06-18-2012, 07:32 AM
Replies: 37
Views: 9,759
Posted By norvbrooks
Icon6 Word Vault Contest - Wedding Days

Agatha - nicely done! I liked it.
Showing results 1 to 25 of 64

 

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