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Search: Posts Made By: Robert AD
Forum: Fiction 03-30-2015, 06:57 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 995
Posted By Robert AD
Hi, That was a nice read. But it was a bit...

Hi,
That was a nice read. But it was a bit choppy.

I’ve read some of your posts and I can tell you have a head full of stories and images to share. I won’t harp on the structure of your...
Forum: Fiction 03-30-2015, 06:29 AM
Replies: 9
Views: 1,657
Posted By Robert AD
The two detectives waited patiently for a few...

The two detectives waited patiently for a few minutes,

Hi,
The line above is where I stopped reading. There was just too much energy
in one place for me. I'm not sure if it's the heavy...
Forum: Free Writing 03-30-2015, 06:19 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 1,069
Posted By Robert AD
I always enjoy randomly clicking one of your...

I always enjoy randomly clicking one of your post. Never know what I'll find myself reading. I do know, however, it'll be something fun, original, refreshing. Feels like you're wringing yourself...
Forum: Fiction 03-29-2015, 10:26 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 1,153
Posted By Robert AD
That was a good fun read. Strong, solid voice....

That was a good fun read. Strong, solid voice. Well written, fun characters and a real short story, too. I can see this character reappearing in several stories.

Thanks
Forum: Fiction 03-29-2015, 09:34 AM
Replies: 9
Views: 1,076
Posted By Robert AD
Hi, Just wanted to tell you I read this quickly...

Hi,
Just wanted to tell you I read this quickly and I think you have a good character here. Her digressions feel right. Your narrative voice is really strong, consistent and distinct.

I didn't...
Forum: Writers' Cafe 03-26-2015, 06:52 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 1,426
Posted By Robert AD
That's something every serious writer should ask...

That's something every serious writer should ask himself. I shake my head every time I hear someone suggest you just write it and sub it. I roll my eyes when someone suggest you take your nearly...
Forum: Fiction 03-22-2015, 12:17 PM
Replies: 13
Views: 1,952
Posted By Robert AD
Very good read. Snappy, realistic dialogue....

Very good read. Snappy, realistic dialogue. Tension. humor, setting, well-drawn characters. This story can be drawn out for as long as you want and your readers will continue to come back for more....
Forum: Fiction 03-22-2015, 11:43 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 1,094
Posted By Robert AD
Hi JoeMatt, Okay, I think you succeeded in...

Hi JoeMatt,

Okay, I think you succeeded in letting the dialogue reveal the story. Here's a thought for you, though. I bet you could create an even stronger, tighter piece by carefully culling...
Forum: Fiction 03-22-2015, 11:16 AM
Replies: 11
Views: 1,201
Posted By Robert AD
Hi, Tremor Reading this, I felt you had fun...

Hi, Tremor

Reading this, I felt you had fun writing the piece. It's full of energy. That's a good thing. The dialogue wasn't too bad.

At times, particularly in the prologue part of the...
Forum: Free Writing 03-19-2015, 08:49 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 728
Posted By Robert AD
Daes13: Thanks for reading. There's the Robert AD...

Daes13: Thanks for reading. There's the Robert AD who enjoys writing, thinking his early draft of something is already flawless. Then there's The Other Robert AD who takes a closer look at things.
...
Forum: Free Writing 03-19-2015, 04:32 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 728
Posted By Robert AD
Hi, Robert AD I think you have a decent...

Hi, Robert AD

I think you have a decent little piece here, but I have a few issues I'd like to address. Hope you don't take them wrong.

Firstly, the title just doesn't sound right. I know you...
Forum: Free Writing 03-18-2015, 10:17 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 728
Posted By Robert AD
Been There, Done That

It's late evening and I can't sleep, so I grab the book I'd been reading and head downstairs to the hotel courtyard. Dozens of people stand around the gas-fired brick pit in the center of the yard....
Forum: The Library 03-18-2015, 07:16 PM
Replies: 30
Views: 11,911
Posted By Robert AD
Dave Sedaris is always entertaining. A lot of...

Dave Sedaris is always entertaining. A lot of his short non-fiction, slice-of-life type stories are available online.
Forum: Free Writing 03-17-2015, 06:00 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 1,091
Posted By Robert AD
Good, well-written piece. I think what I liked...

Good, well-written piece. I think what I liked about it was that the narrator's voice rang true. Like someone at a desk, hunkered over a piece of paper, biting their bottom lip to quell their...
Forum: Non-Fiction 03-17-2015, 03:33 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 1,642
Posted By Robert AD
Hi was calling - called was receiving -...

Hi

was calling - called
was receiving - received
etc, etc . . .

To clarify what I'm suggesting, take a few minutes to visit the 'General Writing' forum. (I think it can be accessed via 'The...
Forum: Non-Fiction 03-16-2015, 07:15 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 1,642
Posted By Robert AD
Hi, I think if you took the word combinations...

Hi,
I think if you took the word combinations below and replaced them with a single word, your story would be crisper. Just an opinion.

was calling, were receiving, was envying, could remember, ...
Forum: Poetry 03-16-2015, 06:20 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 1,051
Posted By Robert AD
Enjoyed the read, better than decent. Read like...

Enjoyed the read, better than decent. Read like a story, something that would go well with artwork. A bit Shel Silverstein, A bit The Doctor.

PS: I'm not a poetry type, so can't offer anything...
Forum: Introductions 03-16-2015, 06:09 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 972
Posted By Robert AD
Thanks for the Welcomes.

Thanks for the Welcomes.
Forum: Fiction 03-15-2015, 11:47 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 776
Posted By Robert AD
Good read. Nice descriptions, believable...

Good read. Nice descriptions, believable dialogue, good introduction to characters. Final line gives the reader an insight to future chapters. Liked it.

Thanks
Forum: Free Writing 03-15-2015, 11:41 AM
Replies: 24
Views: 3,161
Posted By Robert AD
That was a good, easy read. Thnx

That was a good, easy read.

Thnx
Forum: Fiction 03-15-2015, 10:56 AM
Replies: 25
Views: 2,397
Posted By Robert AD
Fair Enough. 'A Serious Talk' is one of my...

Fair Enough. 'A Serious Talk' is one of my favorites, too.
Forum: Fiction 03-15-2015, 10:11 AM
Replies: 25
Views: 2,397
Posted By Robert AD
You're right, JoeMatt. There are lots of...

You're right, JoeMatt. There are lots of possibilities. As written, I'm sure this piece can be easily resubmitted and reaccepted. I guess I'm just looking at what could be done with the piece.
...
Forum: Free Writing 03-15-2015, 07:43 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 871
Posted By Robert AD
Really liked these lines: Can't undrink the...

Really liked these lines:

Can't undrink the beer or unsmoke the
cigs -

And now the only reason worth breathin'
likes breathin' with me

This one, though:
Forum: Fiction 03-15-2015, 07:11 AM
Replies: 25
Views: 2,397
Posted By Robert AD
I agree a character arc isn't necessary in every...

I agree a character arc isn't necessary in every short piece. I've read plenty of short stories that present a series of events and of a character reacting to those events and going on with his life....
Forum: Fiction 03-14-2015, 03:09 PM
Replies: 25
Views: 2,397
Posted By Robert AD
Maybe I phrased wrong: Your main, though...

Maybe I phrased wrong:

Your main, though interesting, was THE SAME at story end as he was at story start. And of course, all stories are subjective and since it found it's way onto an online...
Showing results 1 to 25 of 36

 

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