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Search: Posts Made By: Rocker
Forum: Poetry 06-25-2013, 03:04 PM
Replies: 12
Views: 1,135
Posted By Rocker
Quit droning on and on will ya! God bless...

Quit droning on and on will ya!
God bless America..

:D
Forum: Poetry 06-25-2013, 12:49 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 400
Posted By Rocker
Nice read... very poignant. All too common a...

Nice read... very poignant.
All too common a sight these days. Quite sad.

I thought this flowed very smoothly but felt the bouquet was in need of an adjective to reinforce the dreary sense of...
Forum: Poetry 06-17-2013, 12:57 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 496
Posted By Rocker
I agree with Jamie... both about liking it, and...

I agree with Jamie... both about liking it, and his points.

I would also add...
Did you mean 'heed' not 'head' in line 6?

and...
If there's one thing I really don't like in a poem, of which...
Forum: Poetry 06-17-2013, 12:46 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 411
Posted By Rocker
Good one.. I enjoyed it.. flows nicely :D ...

Good one.. I enjoyed it.. flows nicely :D

But... I think you've missed a couple of opportunities in the last verse...

Try something like..

Their wings are now tattered, battered and...
Forum: Non-Fiction 06-02-2013, 01:02 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 1,032
Posted By Rocker
Real nice. Amanda sounds a lovely person and you...

Real nice. Amanda sounds a lovely person and you convey that you have some very deep feelings for her. She certainly seems to have gone through some testing times in her life and it's good that she's...
Forum: Poetry 05-27-2013, 10:43 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 428
Posted By Rocker
Nacia, I fixxored your poem.... hope you don't...

Nacia, I fixxored your poem.... hope you don't mind... :D



you wrap
and unwrap
each reason
with light
and in between
each bite
Forum: Poetry 05-27-2013, 07:54 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 447
Posted By Rocker
Thanks for reading and commenting Ed.. ...

Thanks for reading and commenting Ed..

You're suggested retitling almost works... I just don't see how saying 'See you tomorrow' could be construed as foolishness..
Forum: Lyrics 05-27-2013, 07:49 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 950
Posted By Rocker
That's cool :D When I read it, all I could...

That's cool :D
When I read it, all I could picture/hear was a mix of Bruce Springsteen and Johnny Cash.. have you put this to music yet?

BTW.. lost me with the Sequoias... wasssat then?
...
Forum: Poetry 05-26-2013, 01:53 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 447
Posted By Rocker
hangin' on in there..

you better come and say
goodbye she won't last
the weekend

the room was dark
cloying our senses with
the malodorous pall
that precipitates death
and Cheynes-Stokes
pattern was
Forum: Poetry 05-26-2013, 01:38 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 600
Posted By Rocker
Welcome to the rat race... I liked this...easy...

Welcome to the rat race...
I liked this...easy to identify with.. although the punctuation was rather distracting in places, ie, the speech quotes.

Otherwise cool...I felt your pain

:)
Forum: Poetry 05-19-2013, 05:45 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 778
Posted By Rocker
You got me with this one... I started out...

You got me with this one... I started out thinking it was just another love poem until your clever twist.
My only thought would be to move the 'Fuck You' to the very end. Gives it more oomph and...
Forum: Poetry 05-19-2013, 05:41 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 1,595
Posted By Rocker
Excellent. Love the littering of alliterations...

Excellent.
Love the littering of alliterations that you leave loitering here and there, and the way some of it sort of rhymes unexpectedly.
Wasn't sure if you meant fantasists or fanatics, but with...
Forum: Poetry 05-19-2013, 04:55 AM
Replies: 12
Views: 1,040
Posted By Rocker
Haha...there's nothing quite like a backhanded...

Haha...there's nothing quite like a backhanded compliment :D

And, I'm sorry but... Intergoogleweb Crosby? Really?
:rofl:
Forum: Poetry 05-19-2013, 04:49 AM
Replies: 12
Views: 1,040
Posted By Rocker
Thanks for your time Drew. I appreciate it. ...

Thanks for your time Drew. I appreciate it.
Enjambment certainly changes the perspective and tone but it's something I think I'll have to have a play around with before letting it loose on an...
Forum: Poetry 05-19-2013, 04:44 AM
Replies: 12
Views: 1,040
Posted By Rocker
Hey thanks KBR.. appreciate what you've done...

Hey thanks KBR.. appreciate what you've done here. And I like it.
You're not quite saying what I was trying to* but the end result has certainly given me food for thought.

*the words of the...
Forum: Poetry 05-19-2013, 04:33 AM
Replies: 12
Views: 1,040
Posted By Rocker
Thanks for reading and commenting. It does...

Thanks for reading and commenting.
It does rather remind of Henry V, and I was aware of that at the time of writing although that is the only intended similarity.

I'm in two minds about this...
Forum: Poetry 05-16-2013, 08:32 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 454
Posted By Rocker
to write a haiku in seventeen syllables is...

to write a haiku
in seventeen syllables
is very diffic


:D
Forum: Poetry 05-12-2013, 11:43 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 445
Posted By Rocker
In my house, your poem would go more like this: ...

In my house, your poem would go more like this:


Little spider

that crawls across my floor

big dog's now got it inside her

the little spider crawls no more
Forum: Poetry 05-12-2013, 11:31 AM
Replies: 12
Views: 1,040
Posted By Rocker
Thanks Dunbar, comments much appreciated. For...

Thanks Dunbar, comments much appreciated. For your benefit the poem is referring to another altogether smaller writers forum that I belong to which has sadly sunk into the pits of despair as folk...
Forum: Poetry 05-12-2013, 11:19 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 702
Posted By Rocker
Nice write... thanks for sharing it. I quite...

Nice write... thanks for sharing it.
I quite liked it except for the overuse of 'and' at the beginning of several of the lines..
it brings to mind, Mr Brightside, which in itself is not a bad...
Forum: Poetry 05-11-2013, 11:34 AM
Replies: 12
Views: 1,040
Posted By Rocker
into nothingness

we few, we silent few
despondent and mute
our numbers dwindling
into insignificance
our scant words
clinging to posterity
as dewdrops
glistening
on discordant strands
of...
Forum: Non-Fiction 04-19-2013, 01:07 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 766
Posted By Rocker
Thanks for taking the time to comment Ed :) ...

Thanks for taking the time to comment Ed :)

You make some good points and with hindsight you are probably right in that it is lacking in certain departments.

It is however only day 1, so there...
Forum: Non-Fiction 04-14-2013, 03:03 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 766
Posted By Rocker
Beer n Bratties - Boys in Berlin

We caught the red-eye. 06:05 from Luton, an EasyJet Airbus by the name of G-EZUX which, if you squinted in the right place at the right time, sounded just like the ‘Jeeeezuz!’ expelled by two hundred...
Forum: Poetry 04-12-2013, 01:04 PM
Replies: 9
Views: 612
Posted By Rocker
or it could have been 23 hours and 13 minutes...

or it could have been 23 hours and 13 minutes later....

or you could have a clock like I saw next week... a backwards clock...it really does your head in.
Forum: Poetry 04-09-2013, 12:06 PM
Replies: 15
Views: 971
Posted By Rocker
The problem here is that there are 10 types of...

The problem here is that there are 10 types of people in this forum... those that understand binary and those that don't.

:D
Showing results 1 to 25 of 222

 

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