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Search: Posts Made By: Luciaphile
Forum: Fiction 04-16-2018, 02:06 PM
Replies: 17
Views: 3,961
Posted By Luciaphile
You are lucky to get so much response. I put on...

You are lucky to get so much response. I put on something and no one makes a comment.

I like your bumbly fast repetitive style. Could you somehow make that style into a consistent part of the...
Forum: Non-Fiction 03-30-2018, 10:01 PM
Replies: 29
Views: 1,664
Posted By Luciaphile
I decided to take the offered vallium pill before...

I decided to take the offered vallium pill before a lab test. They said to chew it. It was tiny and calmed me a little. Saw the bill yesterday in the mail - that one little pill was 65.00. ...
Forum: Fiction 03-29-2018, 03:28 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 1,194
Posted By Luciaphile
Safe, but dull and lost, and reaching for...

Safe, but dull and lost, and reaching for something else.
Forum: Fiction 03-29-2018, 03:26 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 1,194
Posted By Luciaphile
Not thinking writing. What comes out? Maybe your theme?

Once, I told myself, I was a mighty sword (through my pen). I took my sword and struck it into a broad trunked tree that cast golden leaves down on me from time's home base, the seasons. I struck...
Forum: Poetry 03-26-2018, 08:11 AM
Replies: 11
Views: 574
Posted By Luciaphile
Thanks for more comments. I forgot to look and...

Thanks for more comments. I forgot to look and see til now. I still think this is a poem I've written. I've seen some like it - maybe a ballad? Beesauce your comment reads like a poem, itself. ...
Forum: Poetry 03-26-2018, 07:59 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 618
Posted By Luciaphile
I'm trying to think why the spiders stop me from...

I'm trying to think why the spiders stop me from liking the poem completely. Maybe because the sight of spiders stops me short in real life, too? They are icky and dark and fast and sudden. Like...
Forum: Fiction 03-26-2018, 07:53 AM
Replies: 10
Views: 1,111
Posted By Luciaphile
My first thought is that the date of 2001 going...

My first thought is that the date of 2001 going along and then when Nov. comes there is no mention of 9/11. Of course a prisoner is mostly caught up in his own life, but maybe there could be a way...
Forum: Poetry 03-21-2018, 04:50 AM
Replies: 12
Views: 937
Posted By Luciaphile
Reminds me of Thoreau. Judgement of others, then...

Reminds me of Thoreau. Judgement of others, then madness of his own self and facsimile (oh brother, really?). But I like Thoreau's vision better, as he has a nicer view of nature.
Forum: Poetry 03-18-2018, 04:10 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 664
Posted By Luciaphile
I love the third stanza! The whole poem is extra...

I love the third stanza! The whole poem is extra fine, I think. I don't know about meter, either, but I stumbled in a couple places in this poem, I think. Are you an expert at meter? It is so...
Forum: Poetry 03-18-2018, 04:02 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 646
Posted By Luciaphile
I think "I looked so sad" is OK because it seems...

I think "I looked so sad" is OK because it seems to be what the purple hair girl is saying or thinking. She's a trite kinda girl, maybe. BUT I think the last line is used too much "forgotten the...
Forum: Poetry 03-18-2018, 03:54 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 618
Posted By Luciaphile
Fun reading, very lively and trip-tripping down...

Fun reading, very lively and trip-tripping down the street sort of poem, but i really was tripped up by the "trio of spiders." What does that refer to? If real spiders, I feel it is out of place.
Forum: Fiction 03-17-2018, 04:27 PM
Replies: 9
Views: 1,207
Posted By Luciaphile
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/It_was_a_dark_and_st...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/It_was_a_dark_and_stormy_night

I thought I got pretty purple... Oh, there is a set of books in which contests of this kind were published. I remembered buying them...
Forum: Fiction 03-17-2018, 10:16 AM
Replies: 9
Views: 1,207
Posted By Luciaphile
I already entered it and didn't win. It was a...

I already entered it and didn't win. It was a local newspaper contest to use the dark and stormy words in 100 words. So I guess I just would like some suggestions as to style and possible...
Forum: Fiction 03-17-2018, 10:12 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 946
Posted By Luciaphile
Well written joke, ha! Did you know the way they...

Well written joke, ha! Did you know the way they talk, or did you just write like it sounded right? If you know what I mean? I guess if you think about the story, it does have a theme: love...
Forum: Fiction 03-16-2018, 11:37 AM
Replies: 9
Views: 1,207
Posted By Luciaphile
My entry for A Dark and Stormy Night contest-

It was not a dark stormy night, it was a bright glary day when my hungry lover came to me. Daylight smoldered on his skin, and I feared for his life. But when his eyes appeared over the sill of the...
Forum: Non-Fiction 03-16-2018, 11:32 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 1,280
Posted By Luciaphile
Liked it! Also, don't know why!

Liked it! Also, don't know why!
Forum: Poetry 03-12-2018, 09:03 PM
Replies: 11
Views: 611
Posted By Luciaphile
Beesauce, thanks for your comment. I do have...

Beesauce, thanks for your comment. I do have copies of Rocky Mountain Review. It was a small literary magazine, I think pretty well received in its time, though you might have to find a big library...
Forum: Poetry 03-08-2018, 02:26 PM
Replies: 11
Views: 611
Posted By Luciaphile
Beesauce, is this a poem you've written? I mean,...

Beesauce, is this a poem you've written? I mean, is it really a poem?
Forum: Lyrics 03-04-2018, 09:59 PM
Replies: 54
Views: 3,558
Posted By Luciaphile
Pretty song at 11pm

Good voice, but sorta sad. Nice
Forum: Poetry 03-01-2018, 07:11 PM
Replies: 11
Views: 574
Posted By Luciaphile
You two are too dumb for me. Anybody else?

You two are too dumb for me. Anybody else?
Forum: Poetry 03-01-2018, 12:37 PM
Replies: 11
Views: 574
Posted By Luciaphile
Institutes of Death

I've been playing around with my night dreams, tried out a few poems: here's one:


Institutes of Death

A young woman on a motor scooter
On a downtown side street
Blocked by the overflowing...
Forum: Poetry 03-01-2018, 12:26 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 677
Posted By Luciaphile
You are an excellent poet - deep, full of images,...

You are an excellent poet - deep, full of images, rhythm, care. I liked it. I think it is better than I can try to fix, as I'm not so good.
Forum: Poetry 03-01-2018, 12:14 PM
Replies: 16
Views: 970
Posted By Luciaphile
You know, though it is very good, I think you...

You know, though it is very good, I think you might tighten it up, or not... take out ands and ares and such, like you could take out the whole phrase "It's their words they look like" and it would...
Forum: Lyrics 02-26-2018, 11:57 AM
Replies: 15
Views: 1,643
Posted By Luciaphile
I like the song. Should the be in line six be...

I like the song. Should the be in line six be by? Do you write the music, too. What is your voice like? I imagine this being sort of a "I'm Easy" song.
Forum: Poetry 02-24-2018, 04:21 PM
Replies: 30
Views: 2,150
Posted By Luciaphile
You misunderstand me, daes13. Never mind.

You misunderstand me, daes13. Never mind.
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