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Nick Pierce 01-25-2013 05:44 AM

This just in
In a surprising move the Hype House has declared itself a firearm free milieu.

The internal security forces now garb in various baseball team togs. Each man (and woman) accoutered with an authentic Louisville Slugger and a waist front pouch containing two balls.

These balls are slightly larger than the average size. And, being constructed of space age material, although regulation weight, are much denser.

The result is hard as a rock.

Indeed, in the protection provider community these operatives are (unofficially) referred to as having "big stones".

In an unexpected yet related development three previously undetected curmudgeon groups
have been exposed.

The members were discovered in hospital emergency rooms seeking treatment for uncontrollable paroxysms of laughter.

We will keep you informed of further developments on these breaking stories as information is made available.

Regular programming now resumes.

JohnConstantine 01-25-2013 07:43 AM

A gibe?

Even so, it's pretty cool, reminds me of the Nova Police.

Nick Pierce 01-25-2013 08:10 AM


Originally Posted by JohnConstantine (Post 562786)
reminds me of the Nova Police.

The intent values, the meaning values, all the reason(s) for things that get written by me (by a muse using this body?) are never completely clear (to me).

Some stuff (mostly past pieces) exploded through me (and out the fingertips) after I was Bukowskied.

I wikied Nova Police. I read (in some sixties/seventies half remembered [man- that word's gotta be spelled wrong] world) everything the flawed marksman wrote (thought I got it all).

So, if your N.P. reference is to one of Bill's tomes, I suspect aspects of my 'style' (ha) can be linked to a guy that couldn't shoot straight.

Is your Nom de plume based on that guy that is always dickin' with the devil?

JohnConstantine 01-25-2013 08:25 AM

Of course.

Then this might be nostalgic.


nova police
Bulletin from Rewrite: We had to call in the nova police to keep all these jokers out
of the Rewrite Room -Can't be expected to work under such conditions- Introducing
Inspector J. Lee of the nova police - "I doubt if any of you on this copy planet have
ever seen a nova criminal - (they take considerable pains to mask their operations)
and i am sure none of you have ever seen a nova police officer -When disorder on
any planet reaches a certain point the regulating instance scans police - otherwise -
Sput - Another planet bites the cosmic dust - i will now explain something of the
mechanisms and techniques of nova which are always deliberately manipulated - i
am quite well aware that no one on any planet likes to see a police officer so let me
emphasize in passing that the nova police have no intention of remaining after their
work is done - That is, when the danger of nova is removed from this planet we will
move on to other assignments - We do our work and go

"The basic nova technique is very simple: Always create as many insoluble conflicts
as possible and always aggravate existing conflicts-This is done by dumping on the
same planet life forms with incompatible conditions of existence-There is of course
nothing "wrong" about any given life form since "wrong" only has reference to
conflicts with other life forms-The point is these life forms should not be on the same
planet-Their conditions of life are basically incompatible in present time form and it is
precisely the work of the nova mob to see that they remain in present time form, to
create and aggravate the conflicts that lead to the explosion of a planet, that is to
nova - At any given time recorders fix the nature of absolute need and dictate the
use of total weapons - Like this: Take two opposed pressure groups - Record the
most violent and threatening statements of group one with regard to group two and
play back to group two - Record the answer and take it back to group one -back and
forth between opposed pressure groups - This process is known as `feedback' - You
can see it operating in any bar room quarrel - In any quarrel for that matter -
Manipulated on a global scale feeds back nuclear war and nova -These conflicts are
deliberately created and aggravated by nova criminals - The Nova Mob: 'Sammy the
Butcher,' `Green Tony,' `the Brown Artist,' 'Jacky Blue Note,' `Limestone John,'
`Izzy the Push,' `Hamburger Mary,' `Paddy The Sting,' `the Subliminal Kid,' `the
Blue Dinosaur,' 'Willy the Rat' (who informed on his associates) and Mr and Mrs D
also known as `Mr Bradly Mr Martin' also known as `the Ugly Spirit,' thought to be
the leader of the mob - the nova mob - In all my experience as a police officer i have
never seen such total fear and degradation on any planet - We intend to arrest these
criminals and turn them over to the Biological Department for the indicated

"Now you may well ask whether we can straighten out this mess to the satisfaction
of any life forms involved and my answer is this -Your earth case must be processed
by the Biological Courts - (admittedly in a deplorable condition at this time) -No
sooner set up than immediately corrupted so that they convene every day in a
different location like floating dice games, constantly swept away by stampeding
forms all idiotically glorifying their stupid ways of life - most of them quite
unworkable of course) - attempting to seduce the judges into Venusian sex practices,
drug the court officials, and intimidate the entire audience chamber with the threat
of nova In all my experience as a police officer I have never seen such total fear of
the indicated alterations on any planet - a thankless job you see and we only do it so
it won't have to be done some place else under even more difficult circumstances

Gritsy 01-26-2013 07:21 AM

Toooooooo Funny!!!! This was really cute.

Always your fan,


Nick Pierce 01-26-2013 09:35 AM


Originally Posted by Gritsy (Post 562990)

I slay me.

Nick Pierce 04-07-2017 11:01 AM


Originally Posted by JohnConstantine (Post 562795)
Of course.

Then this might be nostalgic.

Okay, chat, have a look at the nova police piece that John provided.

And that is the point.

Nice, huh?

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