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-   -   Cliche #20 Fuss and Feathers (http://forums.writersbeat.com/showthread.php?t=43782)

gloryia 01-21-2013 07:55 AM

Cliche #20 Fuss and Feathers
 
Fuss and Feathers (478)

Amy appeared in the doorway, stopped as if to take in the crowd then moved towards me with a smile on her face. I'd been waiting for an hour, but she looked good in a silk emerald dress that clung like ivy in all the right places, so I smiled back at her. Sweeping her way through the dancing couples, she quickly occupied the stool next to mine.

'Sorry darling, couldn't get a taxi', her sultry voice hit my ear; the Irish lilt of it a melody that lingered.

'One day you'll run out of excuses - you're never on time.'

Her glance held a glimmer of amusement as she patted my hand.

'Darling, a girl has to do her best.' I'm here now, let's dance.'

I took her in my arms, feeling the soft silkiness of her skin under my hand and the headiness of the yang-yang she was wearing. Within a few minutes I felt a hand on my shoulder. Tall, with honeyed hair and blue eyes, his hand remained firm as I released her.

'My dance', he said with a grin, his teeth pearly-white against a tanned face.

I gave her up reluctantly. They swirled, swayed. His hand caressed the silky skin and his chin nestled in the chestnut hair that was mine. Normally a mild mannered guy, I fought the frustration that settled at the pit of my belly, but I couldn't take my eyes of off them. Her laugh echoed across the room and her eyes clung to his face.

* * *

'All fuss and feathers', my mum said whenever I mentioned Amy. 'Find yourself a nice homely girl to settle down with. That one's not for you, too flighty by far.'

I never bothered to answer, she didn't understand. Dad had died two years past and mum... I was all she had. Any girl was a threat, but Amy... much to pretty, to independent. It made no difference what mum said - I loved Amy.

* * *

The music ended. They stood talking, engrossed, their eyes locked. I waited. They crossed the floor, all smiles. Judd, my best friend, with the honeyed hair, kept his arm tight around her waist. My face refused to function, remained stiff, unyielding, even when I felt her hand touch my arm.

'All fuss and feathers.' Mum's voice echoed in my ears.

'Sorry Max, but when my master calls....'

She wound her arm around mine, pushed her face close planting a quick kiss on my cheek before she looked back at him. She'd flirted with me, but I could see it in her eyes, feel it, and when I looked at Judd, I knew he felt it too. She loved him. Loved my best friend and there was nothing I could do about it. All fuss and feathers? No, just a girl mum, who'll never be mine.

mundih 03-04-2013 01:16 PM

wow amazing , you captured the emotion very well in this peace. I love how you added the flashback in there in a subtle manner. very enjoyable.

gloryia 03-05-2013 08:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mundih (Post 571764)
wow amazing , you captured the emotion very well in this peace. I love how you added the flashback in there in a subtle manner. very enjoyable.


Many thanks, appreciate your feedback.

Regards Gloria

vladimus 03-06-2013 08:24 AM

This is even sadder than the cliche' i wrote, very compelling, i couldn't stop reading once i started, gave great visual, good job.

gloryia 03-07-2013 05:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vladimus (Post 572173)
This is even sadder than the cliche' i wrote, very compelling, i couldn't stop reading once i started, gave great visual, good job.


Hi, many thanks, Nice to know you enjoyed my short story.

Regards
Gloria

bnicbowk 06-16-2013 01:23 PM

the emotion came across well in this piece, very nice

gloria 06-18-2013 06:49 AM

Thanks, your comment much appreciated - gloria

Teancor 06-26-2013 05:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gloryia (Post 561622)
'One day you'll run out of excuses - you're never on time.'

Her glance held a glimmer of amusement as she patted my hand.

'Darling, a girl has to do her best.' I'm here now, let's dance.'

This meant something different after reading the ending. Well done.

Gloryia,
Great short story. Very enjoyable.

huntsman 08-27-2013 10:37 AM

Look you have written something from the core of your heart, and that touches my heart. It is happening in our daily life which we could not control by yourself, only we can feel and feel and feel..ultimately at the end of our life we go with some unspoken words that we may share with...anyway thanks for the nice story.

gloria 10-27-2013 09:12 AM

Thanks for your warm words of encouragement - how true happenings in daily life are often beyond control.

Thanks again

xoLorey 12-18-2014 01:47 AM

Lovely! I really liked this piece! So much true emotion in it. Very well done :)


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