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-   -   Just A Phase (http://forums.writersbeat.com/showthread.php?t=22329)

firsthero 01-26-2010 09:43 AM

Just A Phase
 
The format is obviously incorrect, but whatever. Some of the things in this are a bit obscure, but I plan on shooting this within the next couple weeks. The vision I have for it will fill in a lot of the obscurity. Annnnyways. It'll be around a 15-20 minute project.

(ANDREW is sitting in a chair looking at a photograph with an endearing and focused gaze.)

(ANDREW repetitively checks his cell phone. Each time producing a look of dissatisfaction and placing the phone down.)

(ANDREW is on his laptop checking his facebook page. After a few moments he closes it, looking again, extremely dissatisfied.)

(ANDREW is watching a movie with the lights off, his eyes not entirely focused on the movie Ė something is clearly distracting him.

(ANDREW is lying in bed, not sleeping. He stares at the walls, lost in a thought. He sighs and closes his eyes.)

[DREAM/MEMORY]

(ANDREW and A GIRL are lying on a couch, fairly close to each other. Her head is resting on his shoulder.)

ANDREW
Youíre a thief.

THE GIRL
Not half as excellent of a thief as you are.

ANDREW
You should really have more confidence in your thieving abilities.

THE GIRL
Well, I just know when to admit defeat.

ANDREW (smirking)
Defeat is for the weak.

THE GIRL(laughing)
Stop trying to act so tough, pussy. You know you arenít that tough.

ANDREW(laughing, surprised)
Iím extremely tough, thank you very much. Practically the toughest guy in this room.

THE GIRL(confused)
Do you have another guy in the closet or something?

ANDREW
What? No!

THE GIRL
Good, because that would be really strange. And also, youíre the only guy in this room so that doesnít really count.

ANDREW
Hm yeah it does. Even if I win by default, it still counts as a win.

THE GIRL
Whatever you say, puss king.

ANDREW
Yeah, the king of yours.

(THE GIRL laughs and slaps ANDREW in the arm)

ANDREW(smirking)
I mean, itís true, isnít it?

THE GIRL
Shut up, thief.

ANDREW
Youíre just as much of a thief as I am. So, you shut up.

THE GIRL (thinking, looking in Andrewís eyes)
Is it possible to steal one another?

ANDREW (pondering)
I guess it is.

THE GIRL(smiling, endeared)
Do you ever plan on giving my heart back?

ANDREW
Nope.

(The two look into each otherís eyes, smiling, happy to be in this moment. Their mouths move closer to each other. Cut.)

(ANDREW wakes up in his bed, running his fingers through his messy hair. ANDREW rolls out of bed and turns on his light. ANDREW slowly begins to go through the motions of getting ready for work: showering, brushing his teeth, combing his hair, getting dressed and exiting the door) through all of this he looks almost zombified, his mind clearly occupied with other things.)

(It fast forwards through ANDREWs day at work. He works as a standing advertisement thingy with a costume on, residing near a road. He doesnít seem too happy as he tiredly waves his sign around, standing very still. )

(Outside gazing at the stars, smoking a cigarette. VOICE OVER)

I donít know what happened, really. Everything seemed fine. She seemed into me, and I was definitely into her. ButÖ she just left. She just up and walked away like nothing mattered. Itís amazing how someone can just do that. Just walk away from something. I donít know if I wasnít good enough or what. This sucks. Thereís such a pit in my stomach. I could throw up. I wish it would go away.

(The smoke overtakes the screen and fades out)

(FLASHBACK, ANDREW is sitting on a swing, the girl is sitting on his lap.)

GIRL
What do you wannaí be?

ANDREW
A bum.

THE GIRL
What?! A bum?

ANDREW
Oh, just for like a week or two. You know, just to see how it is.

THE GIRL
Oh I see, just a trial run.

ANDREW
Exactly. Iím considering being a famous artist or something. Just a consideration, for now.

THE GIRL
Oh really? Thatís a pretty good consideration.

ANDREW
Really?

THE GIRL
No. Not at all.

ANDREW
I donít like you.

THE GIRL (laughing)
YeahÖ Yeah, you do.

(The two smile and move their mouths closer to each other. Cut.)

(CUTS TO HIM INSIDE HIS BEDROOM WITH TWO FRIENDS SMOKING POT)

ANDREW
Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks. Iíve never realized how true these words were until now, dude.

CHEESE
Yeah man. Youíve learned your lesson. Donít fall back into that trap again.

EGG NOG
Yeah, girls are total fuckers.

CHEESE
Thatís why yaí bang emí then hide emí.

EGG NOG
But where could you hide them is the question!

ANDREW
Theyíre crafty creatures.

CHEESE
I found the best place is a gym or a concert or something like that. You know, where a lot of talented guys would be. Theyíre whores by nature, just let them do their thing.

ANDREW
Iíd like to believe in something more than that though.

EGG NOG
What?

ANDREW
You know, Iíd like to believe thatÖ you knowÖ It exists.

CHEESE
What exists?

ANDREW
Dude, you knowÖ That.

EGG NOG
OhÖ that.

CHEESE
Thereís no such thing, man. Iím telling you. Itís a tortured game in our generation, and no one can win.

EGG NOG
Thatís such a shitty attitude, asscunt!

ANDREW
Yeah no kidding.

CHEESE
Iím just saying man. It doesnít exist. That sort of thing canít last in our times. Better adapt yaí fuckiní dirty monkeys.

ANDREW
I enjoy being a dirty monkey then. It has to exist.

EGG NOG
Heís just pissed because heís worthless.

CHEESE
Hey fuck you yaí stupid pussy.

EGG NOG
Dude, Iíve never met a stupid pussy in my life. And even if it was stupid, it still made me smile and isnít that all that really counts?!

CHEESE
You havenít been around enough pussies, then.

EGG NOG
Yeah, like you have.

ANDREW
All Iím saying isÖ It has to exist. It does exist.

CHEESE
And you thought you found it, didnít you?

ANDREW (looking down, silent for a moment)
I guess.

CHEESE
Howíd that work out for ya?

ANDREW (looks up, smiling)
Bad. (Looks away)

(Shows ANDREW coloring inside a drawing heís done. VOICE OVER)

ANDREW
I donít know what I could of possibly done wrong. Iím so confused. It doesnít make any senseÖ whyíd you have to leave?

(Shows image of ANDREW snorting a white powdery substance.)

(ANDREW is seen destroying his room. He eventually settles down against a wall with his head sunken. VOICE OVER.)

ANDREW
Everything is gone.

[FLASHBACK, outside of ANDREWíS house.]

GIRL
Iím leaving.

ANDREW
What do you mean?

GIRL (tearing up)
I have to leave. Iím sorry.

ANDREW
What? For how long?

GIRL
I donít know. I have to leave.

(She kisses him one last time before turning on her heels and walking away.)

ANDREW (dumbstruck, staring wildly)
What the fuckÖ

(Shows ANDREW coloring again. VOICE OVER)

I guess she just had to leave. I havenít seen her since that night. Iíll never understand why she left and how she could just do that to me. Iíll never see how itís possible to leave someone you supposedly love. But the more I think about it, the more I realize it wasnít love.

[Shows images of them wrestling around, smiling. VOICE OVER]

Iím not sure what it was. I donít think anyone is sure what anything is anymore. All I know is, Iíve never been in love and Iím beginning to believe that it really doesnít exist at all. Its just clothing. You wear it; you play in it, spill stuff on it and eventually get something new to wear. Nothing lasts.

(ANDREW is walking down a sidewalk, his gaze directly in front of him. No longer looking down, no longer feeling that way. VOICE OVER.)

ANDREW
I guess youíve just got to get over things. Allow the phases to leave. Donít hold on. Leave when necessary, before it gets too complicated. Maybe someday theyíll be something you canít bare to leave. And I guess thatíll be the dayÖ You knowÖ the day that happens. When clothing turns into something more.

(As ANDREW is walking he spots a girl. Their eyes share a stare. ANDREW sits down on a bench, and the girl follows suit. They sit next to each other awkwardly for a moment, until ANDREW finds the courage to say something.)

ANDREW
Ugh, do you like Incubus?

GIRL
The band, yes, I love them. The spirit, no. I donít much enjoy being molested in my dreams.

ANDREW (smiling)
Oh ok. Thatís fair.

GIRL (smiling)
I hope you arenít an Incubus.

ANDREW
Oh, Iím not.

GIRL (smirking)
Ok good. I would never allow an Incubus to hit on me.

ANDREW
Thatís understandable.


(The camera zooms out of the bench as the two begin to talk. VOICE OVER.)
ANDREW
I guess Iíll try againÖ I suppose itís the only thing anyone can ever do in this life. Keep tryingÖ Donít let a phase get you down. Press forward..

[ANDREW is seen in his mascot outfit again, however this time he seems more energized, happier, in his gear. He is jumping around waving his sign as if he were on a mission. VOICE OVER.]

Iíll always have this sweet ass costume though.

Dela Eden 01-28-2010 04:26 AM

I really liked it, and I like the theme. Just spotted one error though:
I don’t know what happened, really. Everything seemed fine. She seemed into me, and I was definitely into her. But… she just left. She just got up and walked away like nothing mattered. It’s amazing how someone can just do that. Just walk away from something. I don’t know if I wasn’t good enough or what. This sucks. There’s such a pit in my stomach. I could throw up. I wish it would go away.



kimba 01-30-2010 02:16 PM

I'm guessing the first couple of lines are a montage. I believe the correct way of actually writing a montage is as follows.

Montage
  1. shot 1
  2. shot 2
  3. shot 3 etc
There seem to be a few voice overs. If these belong to Andrew, you need to specify it. Otherwise, not too bad.

Blank/Noir 02-23-2010 04:20 PM

One piece of advice. If you are planning to direct its no big deal, but for selling something it could be. Don't write anything not seen or heard in the scene. So try not to write emotions. At one of the beginning shots where he is dissatisfied, try adding in something like him sighing to indicate that emotion.

Hope that helps

Lin 02-25-2010 08:19 PM

Always write scripts in simple present tense.
"Andrew sits in a chair"
*
Voice overs are on the character line
ANDREW (V.O.)
*
You get raging arguments over difference between MONTAGE and SERIES OF SHOTS, but they are essentially the same thing, and there are a lot of ways to do it. *You might want to give the series a name
*
SERIES OF SHOTS -- "ANDREW TURNS QUEER"
*
--Andrew sees a cute YOUNG HUSTLER
*
--He follows the Young Hustler into a men's room.
*
--He walks into the bedroom and kicks Julie out of bed.
END SERIES OF SHOTS
*
If the elements of a series have dialog, you should probably treat them as scenes, but you could truncate the slugs.
*
ANDREW FLIPS OUT SEQUENCE
*
BEDROOM
Andrew tosses a pill down, chases it with water.
ANDREW
This should be interesting.
*
LIVING ROOM
Andrew runs around naked, barking like a dog.
JULIE
Andy, what is wrong with you?
ANDREW
Woof. woof, woof.
*
*
etc.


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