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-   -   Nativity John (http://forums.writersbeat.com/showthread.php?t=61805)

Cityboy 11-25-2017 07:28 AM

Nativity John
 
Thank you, Flea. John nudged me to get him out of here.

fleamailman 11-25-2017 09:53 AM

("..."of simply", or "of a simple" perhaps..." went the goblin thinking that that would be how he'd write that line there, then adding "...nice to see how whose who keep at something improve with their practice of it...")

Konan 11-25-2017 10:50 AM

Shelly, and you claimed my last piece was nonsense.

Well, what is this?

Funny how some often condemn in others that which they fail to see is most prevalent in themselves.

And I failed to see the point of the this story. Some sick and delusional guy hears a voice inside his head and thinks it's a "miracle". Then he tells another religious nutjob about it, and instead of getting the guy a psychiatrist's help, he encourages him in his delusional reality.

I just find that sad.

Cityboy 11-25-2017 11:59 AM

Go away, hater.

Two different types of writing.

Yours is of a "soapbox preaching" style (and God help those who follow your "tricks") whereas this one is an "actual" incident.

brianpatrick 11-25-2017 12:11 PM

Nativity John
 
Even a true story needs to be told well. The writing is pretty good mechanically, but the pace is too quick and there needs to be some tension and release. For it to be interesting we have to care for the characters in a personal or meaningful way before we can be surprised or enjoy the conclusion.






Sent from my whack-ass dump hole.

Konan 11-25-2017 12:11 PM

Well, if this is an actual incident, the guy who heard the voice probably needs to start taking medication.

Is he a friend of yours, because maybe an intervention should be staged?

Or is this a personal account and it was you who heard the voice?

Cityboy 11-25-2017 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by brianpatrick (Post 738635)
Even a true story needs to be told well. The writing is pretty good mechanically, but the pace is too quick and there needs to be some tension and release. For it to be interesting we have to care for the characters in a personal or meaningful way before we can be surprised or enjoy the conclusion.






Sent from my whack-ass dump hole.

Well put. And I totally agree with you. This story has been hashed out about eight times now, and it probably needs about another eight rewrites before it can even come close to perfection. Since the holiday season is beating down quickly on us, I just wanted to get it out there. But, again, you're spot it. It just doesn't have the feel yet of the moment the story took place. As long as I keep the character John in mind, I might someday get the story in the place it needs to be. He was a good man and a tough bird to turn his life around. We have no idea what he went through. But, we get a glimpse in a homeless camp.

Thanks again and have yourself a wonderful holiday season.

Cityboy 11-25-2017 03:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Konan (Post 738636)
Well, if this is an actual incident, the guy who heard the voice probably needs to start taking medication.

Is he a friend of yours, because maybe an intervention should be staged?

Or is this a personal account and it was you who heard the voice?

Konan, you might find the following statement appalling or hilarious but it was only through a voice from beyond that I have reached this point in life. You have no idea what goes on in this universe, but I promise I wouldn't burst your bubble to disrupt your comfort zone. Go reread the story. You might like it the second time around. Like the girlfriend from whom you once walked away but afterwards discovered she really wasn't so bad after all. That you made a big mistake dumping her.

Konan 11-25-2017 03:16 PM

I'm of the opinion that if someone hears an audible voice in their head that isn't their own thought, they are in need of psychiatric treatment.

Also, you haven't yet responded to my invitation.

Cityboy 11-25-2017 03:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Konan (Post 738644)
I'm of the opinion that if someone hears an audible voice in their head that isn't their own thought, they are in need of psychiatric treatment.

Also, you haven't yet responded to my invitation.

I understand your beliefs, quite well. But, really, they are of little importance anyhow. The greatest accomplishment that a person may achieve in his or her lifetime is to master the art of compassion. Regardless of what side of the fence a person's beliefs may lie, the game of life (true growth and maturity) is really all about learning to develop compassion for your fellow human being.

And, trust me, with such characters on the loose, it's not an easy task. The good news though is that after each stumble, we are allowed to pick ourselves up and start over again. So, the opportunity for us to eventually turn it around never eludes our grasp. But, we do run out of time with each passing breath.

The last time I accepted somebody's invitation, I had to run out of an Italian restaurant because the person who invited me tried to pay the bill with a stolen credit card. Since that narrow escape, I have made a habit of declining invitations. But, thank you.

Konan 11-25-2017 03:51 PM

Well, I'll change your mind yet. I don't have the money to travel at the moment anyway, but I'm confident I will within the coming years. So I'll try again then.

What city do you live in, though?

Cityboy 11-25-2017 06:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Konan (Post 738646)
Well, I'll change your mind yet. I don't have the money to travel at the moment anyway, but I'm confident I will within the coming years. So I'll try again then.

What city do you live in, though?

In the U.S.A, there's only one great city; the rest are wannabes.

Cityboy 11-25-2017 06:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Konan (Post 738646)
I don't have the money to travel at the moment anyway, but I'm confident I will within the coming years. So I'll try again then.

No money now. No problem:

"Think And Grow Rich" by Napoleon Hill.

Read, follow, and receive. The instructors are no different from yours.

Konan 11-25-2017 06:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cityboy (Post 738649)
No money now. No problem:

"Think And Grow Rich" by Napoleon Hill.

Read, follow, and receive. The instructors are no different from yours.

Hey, no way!

That's been my favorite book for over 10 years now, and I read it at least once every year. His other books are pretty good too. Still need to read "How to Raise Your Own Salary" yet though. I think that's the only one I haven't read yet.

How has his work impacted your life and the results you get?

And so you're in New York, I take it.

Cityboy 11-25-2017 07:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Konan (Post 738650)
Hey, no way!

That's been my favorite book for over 10 years now, and I read it at least once every year. His other books are pretty good too. Still need to read "How to Raise Your Own Salary" yet though. I think that's the only one I haven't read yet.

How has his work impacted your life and the results you get?

And so you're in New York, I take it.


Once I was in a doctor's office sitting opposite a man and his ten-year-old son. The dad had his boy reading that book, and I'm thinking to myself: "Now, that kid is going places when he becomes an adult."

If you like that book, you'll also enjoy "The Magic of Believing" by Claude Bristol, who was another old-timer teaching his readers to apply mental techniques. Say, you're a technique person yourself, check out Claude's book. It's another winner.

I met my wife applying "visualization" techniques. Repetition is a major key to accomplishing goals. Even for writers it works like a charm: rewrite, rewrite, rewrite -- until the final rewrite is polished and ready to go. If you think about it, everything began first as an image in someone's mind. Yep, even the chair we are sitting on.

Not living in city any longer, but I spent many years there. Manhattan Island was such a beautiful place at one time; but, unfortunately, now it has become too darn expensive. Good thing memories don't cost anything -- lots of good memories born and raised there. One of a kind that city, Konan. Trust me on that one.

Konan 11-25-2017 08:35 PM

I've heard of "The Magic of Believing," but haven't read it yet. Perhaps I'll look into it and see if I can find an audio version on YouTube. Recently went through "The Richest Man in Babylon" which I hadn't read in about 10 years.

But the one thing that's profited me from Hill's work is the idea of persistence. As you probably know, most successes try and fail or get rejected over and over again for years on end before they finally get their major break, not to mention men seldom succeed before the age of 40 and often don't hit their real stride until beyond that.

I'm different than you when it comes to writing. For me, I do little in the way or re-writing. My articles come out pretty polished with the first draft -- then I just go over it and make small adjustments in regards to grammar and word choices.

I think you really should check out my blog. My hero and inspiration as a writer is Napoleon Hill, and has been for about a decade. Who knows? If you like his work, you might end up liking mine if you'd actually take the opportunity to investigate it.

My blog's been read by hundreds, but within the next 10 years, it will be millions!

You can hold me accountable for that prediction.

New York City is close to the top of my list for cities to visit. Probably top 3. I look forward to experiencing it. But as a convicted arsonist, I don't know if the USA will let me cross their borders now. Haven't tried since my conviction. But I suppose I'll deal with that once I'm in a position to.

So if you're not living in the city, are you just outside of it?

fleamailman 11-25-2017 09:36 PM

("...we can all make posting uncomfortable for each other..." ventured the goblin, continuing "...but then instead of doing imaginative posts we'll end up doing defensive ones as if looking over our shoulders, so wouldn't it be better to focus youself forward now, your choice I guess, I've made mine though..."

Cityboy 11-26-2017 04:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fleamailman (Post 738653)
("...we can all make posting uncomfortable for each other..." ventured the goblin, continuing "...but then instead of doing imaginative posts we'll end up doing defensive ones as if looking over our shoulders, so wouldn't it be better to focus youself forward now, your choice I guess, I've made mine though..."

Makes much sense.

Cityboy 11-26-2017 05:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Konan (Post 738652)
I've heard of "The Magic of Believing," but haven't read it yet. Perhaps I'll look into it and see if I can find an audio version on YouTube. Recently went through "The Richest Man in Babylon" which I hadn't read in about 10 years.

But the one thing that's profited me from Hill's work is the idea of persistence. As you probably know, most successes try and fail or get rejected over and over again for years on end before they finally get their major break, not to mention men seldom succeed before the age of 40 and often don't hit their real stride until beyond that.

I'm different than you when it comes to writing. For me, I do little in the way or re-writing. My articles come out pretty polished with the first draft -- then I just go over it and make small adjustments in regards to grammar and word choices.

I think you really should check out my blog. My hero and inspiration as a writer is Napoleon Hill, and has been for about a decade. Who knows? If you like his work, you might end up liking mine if you'd actually take the opportunity to investigate it.

My blog's been read by hundreds, but within the next 10 years, it will be millions!

You can hold me accountable for that prediction.

New York City is close to the top of my list for cities to visit. Probably top 3. I look forward to experiencing it. But as a convicted arsonist, I don't know if the USA will let me cross their borders now. Haven't tried since my conviction. But I suppose I'll deal with that once I'm in a position to.

So if you're not living in the city, are you just outside of it?

You have a knack when it comes to writing. Others have to do many rewrites to get their piece ready. When I used to play ball, I'd have to warm up at least for an hour before the game started. Yet I had a friend who could walk onto the field five minutes before game time, and he was good to go. He was one of the stars on the team too. Everyone's different.

Konan 11-26-2017 09:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fleamailman (Post 738653)
("...we can all make posting uncomfortable for each other..." ventured the goblin, continuing "...but then instead of doing imaginative posts we'll end up doing defensive ones as if looking over our shoulders, so wouldn't it be better to focus youself forward now, your choice I guess, I've made mine though..."

I disagree. I like a little tension, conflict and drama on forum discussions. Sometimes I purposely post in ways that will draw it out. Not only does it make it fun and amusing, I always learn things about people and how they think and respond, which only increases my knowledge of human nature. For only when people are squeezed does their true character's come to the forefront, and that's when I learn something which would have been lost without the conflict.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cityboy
You have a knack when it comes to writing. Others have to do many rewrites to get their piece ready. When I used to play ball, I'd have to warm up at least for an hour before the game started. Yet I had a friend who could walk onto the field five minutes before game time, and he was good to go. He was one of the stars on the team too. Everyone's different.

Perhaps you're right. But I think there's something to be said for the years, nah -- maybe decades of honing one's skill of writing. They say it takes 10 years to master a skill. Maybe the longer we've been at it, the more things flow and the less re-writes are necessary.

That's been my experience, anyway.

Also, when I searched YouTube for "The Magic of Believing," my account indicated that I'd already listened to it. And sure enough, when I pressed play, I remembered it. I listened a second time. It's good stuff. I was disappointed it was so short though.

You should PM me your email address. There's been talk that this forum could disappear abruptly in the near future, then I'd have no way to contact you.

Like I said, I've made it my goal to hang-out with you sometime in the next 5 years.

And you still didn't answer the last question: Are you living just outside NYC now?

Cityboy 11-26-2017 09:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Konan (Post 738661)
Like I said, I've made it my goal to hang-out with you sometime in the next 5 years.

What about Joemyers? You're ditching him already?

Konan 11-26-2017 10:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cityboy (Post 738663)
What about Joemyers? You're ditching him already?

Myers isn't as interesting as you are. Besides, he's said nothing that would make me want to meet him in person.

But, still, so far you've failed to do three things:

1) Send me your email address

2) Spend 30 seconds checking out my blog just to read the headlines

3) Tell me what city you're now living in

fleamailman 11-26-2017 10:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fleamailman
"...we can all make posting uncomfortable for each other..." ventured the goblin, continuing "...but then instead of doing imaginative posts we'll end up doing defensive ones as if looking over our shoulders, so wouldn't it be better to focus youself forward now, your choice I guess, I've made mine though..."
Quote:

Originally Posted by Konan (Post 738661)
I disagree. I like a little tension, conflict and drama on forum discussions. Sometimes I purposely post in ways that will draw it out. Not only does it make it fun and amusing, I always learn things about people and how they think and respond, which only increases my knowledge of human nature. For only when people are squeezed does their true character's come to the forefront, and that's when I learn something which would have been lost without the conflict.


("...naah, can't see humans ever opening up by that means of conflict you mention there, if anything their posts become even more stunted by that need to defend themselves instead, I mean I should know I'm on trolls forum often enough precisely because writers forum are too forgiving in their encouragement to offer a true appraisal I suspect, nor do the readers here resemble the average person who won't read at length neither, but what gets written is worth reading since it is more than those stunted troll posts one does under fire from one's critics..." mused the goblin in part agreeing though, then adding "...however, do you ever see any good, or deep, or moving writings on trolls forums, no you don't do you now, why so, because their focus becomes "what will the others think" and "how will they react" too, the fruit of that mindset you're suggesting perhaps, rather than the writers focus here of "what's my plot and let my pen take me there now"...", in fact, the goblin had mentioned that this thread would get hijacked, and the goblin apologized that what he had written cast no light upon text first written in the thread as should be, instead it was just this hyjack now, then restarting "...my livewriter self comes out in what you read of me without critic, my troll self comes out when you confront me by what I have written, two sides of the same coin perhaps, but I think of the two it's the writer's side of my nature that you wish to read of me most...")

Cityboy 11-26-2017 10:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fleamailman (Post 738665)
("...naah, can't see humans ever opening up by that means of conflict you mention there, if anything their posts become even more stunted by that need to defend themselves instead, I mean I should know I'm on trolls forum often enough precisely because writers forum are too forgiving in their encouragement to offer a true appraisal I suspect, nor do the readers here resemble the average person who won't read at length neither, but what gets written is worth reading since it is more than those stunted troll posts one does under fire from one's critics..." mused the goblin in part agreeing though, then adding "...however, do you ever see any good, or deep, or moving writings on trolls forums, no you don't do you now, why so, because their focus becomes "what will the others think" and "how will they react" too, the fruit of that mindset you're suggesting perhaps, rather than the writers focus here of "what's my plot and let my pen take me there now"...", in fact, the goblin had mentioned that this thread would get hijacked, and the goblin apologized that what he had written cast no light upon text first written in the thread as should be, instead it was just this hyjack now, then restarting "...my livewriter self come out in what you read of me without critic, my troll self comes out when you confront me by what I have written, two sides of the same coin perhaps, but I think of the two it's writer's side of nature that you wish to read of me most...")


It's amazing how you write. It reminds me of a ballplayer swinging a bat with one hand ... and getting hits too.

Cityboy 11-26-2017 10:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Konan (Post 738664)
Myers isn't as interesting as you are.

Uh oh. You're in big trouble now. You said you were an arsonist? Well, it might come in handy. You better have your flame-thrower ready. He's a comin'.

Konan 11-26-2017 11:05 AM

@fleamailman,

I suppose we have different aims and purposes in life. So it goes.

@Shelly,

Still avoiding my questions, I see. I hope you're not this evasive with your wife when she wants some. But then again, that might just turn her on even more. :P

And that's EX-arsonist. It happened over 17 years ago.

As for Myers, I doubt he could give a damn if some random dude on the internet finds someone else more interesting than him.

By the way, Hill talks about having a definite major purpose in life. I'm curious:

Do you have one?

And if so, what is it?

Mine's to be the most influential man since Jesus Christ. ;)

Cityboy 11-26-2017 12:48 PM

[QUOTE=Konan;738669
As for Myers, I doubt he could give a damn if some random dude on the internet finds someone else more interesting than him.

. ;)[/QUOTE]


You're right. He's boring. Did you have him in mind when you wrote your piece? Or maybe dudes like me? But, in person, I'm not much of a talker. Truth is, my quietness bores people. I chat only with pen because it assists my writing. These back and forths are like writing exercises for me. They improve my writing. However, maybe you ought to write a follow-up: "How to Become Exciting." Many could benefit from it.


When I was about twelve, my friends and I almost burned down a building in the city. We collected about half-dozen dried Christmas trees after the holiday and stuffed them into an elevator. One friend lit the trees and then we sent the elevator up to the top floor of the building. Luckily, people had fire extinguishers or else it would have been a major tragedy. Idle kids get into all kinds of trouble. I had quite a few friends who were firebugs. Luckily, they never seriously hurt anyone. And they stopped.


By the way, I'm not avoiding. I don't like dishing out info on the web. Not my thing. Besides, I know enough people, some since I was about two-years-old. But, good luck with your life work.

Konan 11-26-2017 02:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cityboy (Post 738674)
You're right. He's boring. Did you have him in mind when you wrote your piece? Or maybe dudes like me? But, in person, I'm not much of a talker. Truth is, my quietness bores people. I chat only with pen because it assists my writing. These back and forths are like writing exercises for me. They improve my writing. However, maybe you ought to write a follow-up: "How to Become Exciting." Many could benefit from it.

Well, if you would have visited my blog, you'd have seen one article is entitled: "The Secret to Transforming Yourself Into a Cool Person Others Love." But that's not quite the same thing as being exciting, I suppose. So I'll keep your idea in mind. Though readers and followers of my content will turn themselves into interesting people that others love to talk to by applying what I teach.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cityboy (Post 738674)
By the way, I'm not avoiding. I don't like dishing out info on the web. Not my thing. Besides, I know enough people, some since I was about two-years-old. But, good luck with your life work.

I bet you're just terrified, like you mentioned above, that I'll find you boring in person and you don't want to risk the rejection and dejection, and that's why you're not yet open to meeting.

And yes, as the saying goes: "Idly hands are the devil's workshop." Certainly was the case for me.

Also, how old are you now? I just turned 38 this month.

Cityboy 11-26-2017 02:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Konan (Post 738676)
Well, if you would have visited my blog, you'd have seen one article is entitled: "The Secret to Transforming Yourself Into a Cool Person Others Love." But that's not quite the same thing as being exciting, I suppose. So I'll keep your idea in mind. Though readers and followers of my content will turn themselves into interesting people that others love to talk to by applying what I teach.


I bet you're just terrified, like you mentioned above, that I'll find you boring in person and you don't want to risk the rejection and dejection, and that's why you're not yet open to meeting.

And yes, as the saying goes: "Idly hands are the devil's workshop." Certainly was the case for me.

Also, how old are you now? I just turned 38 this month.


People always find a means of overcoming their weaknesses. I mean, if you consider shyness, a handicap, I found a way around it by expressing myself on a baseball field. Others were aware of my abilities and would engage in conversation. Yep, baseball surely transformed (or elevated) my personality. The only awards I ever received in school were awards for participating in sports. Without over inflating my ego, I could honestly tell you I was a damn good ballplayer. We had a great team, and I was happy to be an integral part of it. Sometimes though being quiet is to a person's advantage because there mind is like a sponge that soaks up a lot. One waitress I knew who came to the city from a small Ohio town once told me, "Cityboy, when you walk into a room, you notice everything in it." She was right. I have been blessed with a good radar system.

Konan 11-26-2017 02:29 PM

So you consider yourself a shy person then?

If so, have you ever wanted to overcome it?


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