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-   -   Circus ov Madness (http://forums.writersbeat.com/showthread.php?t=61280)

AlicinMadnessdg 03-08-2017 06:50 AM

Circus ov Madness
 
Leigh stared at the orderly in the white coat as she rolled her eyes. Though, it was only Stage III in her magick show, everyone was jumping to conclusions, thinking They could see the end before the final act, before IT happened. But THERE IS NO END she wanted to scream. Why can’t They see that? Doug approached menacingly with a wicked grin and a foot-long, 26-gauge hollow needle, completely clueless to the mechanics of the injection he was preparing to administer.


Surely the drug would reach turbulent flow (NRE*>4000) by the time it entered her vein, if it did not blow out the back of her elbow. Wouldn’t laminar flow (NRE<2100) of the drug quell her insolence more effectively? Why did nobody consider fluid dynamics before putting this half-baked plan into motion? Geez the education system is fucked.


The previous few months were odd, to say the least. By reducing her sleep time by 75%, Leigh was awarded vastly increased productivity as well as a first-row viewing of the strings of the Universe. The powers within the education system seemed to believe University to be synonymous with Universe; that the University contains all that is, was and ever will be. This sort of indoctrination begins at gestation, long before one even considers enrollment (as if he or she has a choice). The student must learn the ways of the Alma Mater, perpetuated by the older generation of brain-washed alumni, if he or she wishes to win the game of life. The University’s primary agenda, however, is neither Education nor Intelligence, but Sports and the Money it brings. Leigh saw the strings of the Universe and called “shenanigans” on the University racket immediately.


Much lies behind the sinful Pride and Idolatry of the University. Thus, the University-required Proposal was bullshit. The Proposal was merely a thinly-veiled attempt to mold her thought process into what They wanted it to be. Leigh intended to seek poetic justice against the tyranny of Higher Education through an unconventional presentation of her research Proposal. ‘Twas a brilliant act of Poetic Terrorism that fell just short of Art Sabotage when They called the cops. Her co-conspirator misunderstood his role, threw a curve ball and thwarted her genius plan.


Doug was surprisingly gentle with the needle and the drug ran smoothly, in sync with the flow of her blood. In an instant the screaming in her head stopped; peaceful doesn’t even begin to describe the blissful quiet. Leigh was glad she agreed to take part in this social experiment. Through triage, up an elevator, and into a quaint living room she ambled, and received lunch at a cozy spot in the big cushy pink chair. The meal – tea sandwiches, peaches and pudding – was served on a tray, in dainty fine china dishes. After finishing the lovely meal, another orderly, bigger and burlier than Doug, grabbed her arm roughly and told her it was time to sleep; in another hoodwink they had just stolen her childhood memories.
At the end of the day, the curtain closed on Leigh’s show prematurely; she was never anything more than a self-aware pawn in someone else’s Circus.



*NRE is shorthand for Reynold's Number, a dimensionless measure of turbulence in a fluid. In laminar flow, the individual streams of a fluid flow a relatively linear fashion. Imagine a microscopic drug crystal suspended in a liquid (saline, for example). In laminar flow its position relative to the outer edge of the fluid, i.e. the pipe wall, is constant. When the fluid flows turbulently, the individual streams follow a chaotic path and prediction of the position of the drug crystal is impossible. The Reynold's number is dependent upon D, the diameter of the pipe, v the velocity of the fluid, p (rho) the density of the fluid, and m (mu) the viscosity (resistance to flow) of the fluid.


The formula for calculating Reynold's number is
http://www.writersbeat.com/data:imag...BJRU5ErkJggg==NRE = (D*v*p)/m
http://www.writersbeat.com/data:imag...BJRU5ErkJggg==

Nick Pierce 03-08-2017 03:48 PM

A curious bit of work.

Clean, somewhat full for my Spartan needs, presentation.

the ov in the title - was that intended to be of?

AlicinMadnessdg 03-08-2017 05:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nick Pierce (Post 731049)
A curious bit of work.

Clean, somewhat full for my Spartan needs, presentation.

the ov in the title - was that intended to be of?

The(e) *ov* in the title was intended, as a nod to my friend the ex-junkie. It's a reference to Thee Temple ov Psychick Youth, an artistic cult of sorts he introduced me to around the time this madness was going down. We're merely at page 1 of my many binders of madness.

Thanks for reading.

Nick Pierce 03-09-2017 02:32 AM

[QUOTE=AlicinMadnessdg

The(e) *ov* in the title was intended, as a nod to my friend the ex-junkie. It's a reference to Thee Temple ov Psychick Youth, an artistic cult of sorts he introduced me to around the time this madness was going down. We're merely at page 1 of my many binders of madness.

[/QUOTE]


Okay.
I understand.


Page 2 imminent?

AlicinMadnessdg 03-09-2017 04:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nick Pierce (Post 731061)
Okay.
I understand.


Page 2 imminent?

Imminent, yes. Immediate? no, I need some time to edit and attempt to put the diarrhea vortex of thought into some sort of coherent order.

Filterdreaming 05-31-2017 07:29 PM

It's clean. And neat. However I feel like something is missing. The voice felt dramatic but it was missing that thing that makes you want to be connected to Leigh. Sometimes this works. Other times not. So if you extend this piece maybe look into developing a relationship between Leigh and the viewer. Give Leigh something that makes them Leigh.

AlicinMadnessdg 06-01-2017 05:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Filterdreaming (Post 733013)
It's clean. And neat. However I feel like something is missing. The voice felt dramatic but it was missing that thing that makes you want to be connected to Leigh. Sometimes this works. Other times not. So if you extend this piece maybe look into developing a relationship between Leigh and the viewer. Give Leigh something that makes them Leigh.

Thanks for the insight, writing fiction is a struggle for me and you make a really good point I'd never considered. My strength is in technical writing - academic thesis, scientific journal articles, lab reports, etc. I wrote this piece for a flash fiction competition right after I heard of such a thing as "flash fiction," so it became a wild flash in the dark. I see this experience through the eyes of Leigh, and at the time that madness was occurring I felt very isolated, so maybe that is why she is such a disconnected character?

Thanks again!

Filterdreaming 06-02-2017 12:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlicinMadnessdg (Post 733034)
Thanks for the insight, writing fiction is a struggle for me and you make a really good point I'd never considered. My strength is in technical writing - academic thesis, scientific journal articles, lab reports, etc. I wrote this piece for a flash fiction competition right after I heard of such a thing as "flash fiction," so it became a wild flash in the dark. I see this experience through the eyes of Leigh, and at the time that madness was occurring I felt very isolated, so maybe that is why she is such a disconnected character?

Thanks again!

Adding a few more layers per se can really brighten a piece. Good luck.


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